the hulett house

To a new year and a new me

2010-01-08T10:45:00.001-08:00

I know.... you probably can't believe your eyes. I'm ACTUALLY posting something! I can hardly believe it myself! But it's the beginning of a new year and one extremely small resolution of mine was to start blogging again. I know, seems simple, but a while (a LONG while) back I just couldn't find the time, or energy or even reason to blog. Not that I didn't have stories to tell or things I wanted to brag about, but it all felt so "routine" or like I was repeating myself over and over again. Eventually it got to the point that I didn't know where or when to start again because more and more time would pass and I felt like people (all 2 of you ha) wouldn't be interested anyway.

After the end of a year and start of another, I realize I don't want my blogging to be about other people reading it and having things to say to make you want to come back (sorry!!) but more for me and so I have something to look back on. I love to scrapbook, but absolutely do not have the time or patience to do all that I would want to do with it, so this is a perfect solution for me. I can journal struggles and triumphs. Important dates, moments and funny things that happen. Mostly, I can write about anything I WANT and in all honesty, it's such a stress reliever for me.

As I've said before, I love to write.... anything, anytime, anywhere. I'm a much better writer than speaker, which is why I hate to talk on the phone but can text a million miles a minute. It's not that I don't have a lot to say, because I always have plenty to talk about, it's just I prefer to write and proofread things so I can make sure I say what I want to say and how I want to say it.... because I tend to put my foot in my mouth or say things the wrong way more times than I want to admit. =)

With this new year starting, like most people I set new years resolutions, but instead I'm not setting things I will easily give up on. I decided I would only set things that I really want to work on and know that I will not quit after a week.... things that are too important to me to walk away from. And again, like most people, I feel like if I put them out there I can't go back on them.... so I'm using this as my accountability partner. My reminder that I set a goal and I want to reach them. To top it off, Hank had to set 3 goals for Karate at the start of the year, so if my 6 year old can set goals and keep to them, why the heck can't I?

Alright.... so here goes nothin--

1. I want to be a better wife. Not that I'm a bad wife or anything like that, but I know more times than I want to admit I put my "wifely" duties last. It's easy to do that when you have kids to take care of and other responsibilites and you have a spouse as great as mine, but it's not something I'm proud of and it's something that's been weighing on my heart a lot lately. I really want to be a wife my husband deserves and someone he really can't live without.

2. With being a better wife, I also want to be a better mom. Sure, I'm pretty much everything to my kids most days, but I will (sadly) admit my patience it not the best and our time together is not always quality, even if the quantity is plentiful. I want to spend more one on one time with the boys and be more involved with all the things they love..... even if it means putting legos together for hours or watching the same moving over and over. Fixing the race track 9 billion times a day, or pushing Jace on his bike because he can't pedal yet, but he wants to be just like Hank. I want to be not only their guardian and safe place, but someone they enjoy being with and WANT to talk to, play with and spend time with.

3. I want to go to church ... regularly. I want to read the Bible. I want to build a real, strong relationship with the Lord. A relationship that is just ours. I want to know Him like I've never known Him before and I want to really understand Him and His way. I want to trust Him and give Him all of me instead of the parts I feel comfortable giving.

4. I want to be a better friend. I have seriously put this on the backburner for many years now and I have some of the best friends in the world because they are still around and Lord knows I haven't been what I should have been.

5. I want to be better to myself. Sometimes (ok, all the time) I am pretty hard on myself. I never feel pretty enough, skinny enough, good enough. I always find a flaw or something to pick on. I want to be fair and learn to love myself for who I am. How can I expect others to treat me right or accept me for who I am if I don't even like myself?

Ok, so those are the biggest 5. Like I said earlier, I have some small resolutions (such as blogging more often) that I want to work on as well, but those will be "easier" to stick to than the "tough" stuff. So anyway, I'm gonna go start working on those by getting off here and spending some time with my little man before it's time to pick up big brother from school.... Air Bud and cuddle time.... here I come. =)

Only one day left!!!

2009-07-30T06:04:00.000-07:00

Well it seems only one person has decided to take part in my GIVEAWAY over at Lil' Bits of Life. Maybe some of you did not know I was hosting it or just forgot, so I'm going to give you guys one more chance to head on over and join in!

If no one else decides to participate I might have to just call it off. =( But don't worry Simple Chaos, because you are the only one who has participated, you will get a prize for sure! =)

So to the rest of you, head over to Lil' Bits of Life and join in, or lose out!

Things I DON'T Understand

2009-07-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

-why my oldest doesn't hear me the first, second, third, and sometimes fourth time I tell him to do things, yet hears his father the first time (well... most of the time)

-why my dog barks at me EVERYTIME i get on the phone, even tho he never needs anything important

-why my kids always need me the moment i need to go to the bathroom

-why my youngest wants to stay in his birthday suit alllll day, everyday

-why my kids feel the need to argue over EVERYTHING, big or small, just for the sake of irritating the other one

-why my oldest can't sit still longer then .435 seconds, does not understand the meaning of "be quiet" and has a sound effect for EVERYTHING

-why my little monster likes to pour his drink on the floor (whatever floor) then proceed to get down on all fours and slurp it up like a dog

-why my oldest has to question anything he can think of and then question my answer to the first question

-why my baby boy felt the need to remove his *new* pull up he was wearing ON HIS OWN after he pooped in it!

-more importantly, why he felt the need to then touch his rear end with BOTH hands, grab the poop out of the pull up, throw it on the floor, step in it, then walk up the stairs while smearing his dirty hands ALL up the walls and head to the bathroom to try to clean himself up, only to make a bigger mess for ME

-why i would find the last two even the least bit funny and not at all surprising?!?

*and just so you know, he did all of this in the time it took me to put the towels i just folded away in the closet.... all of 32 seconds!!!*

Forgiveness

2009-07-21T11:15:00.001-07:00

I originally intended to use this to hurt those that hurt me and my family so badly. For days I had this anger that was eating me up and nothing seemed to rid me of that feeling except the thought of "getting even." I tried over and over to find the words that would sting them as much as theirs burned me, but no matter how much I thought I wanted that comfort of knowing they too were broken, it all came back to only one, simple, powerful, honest and KIND word:

Forgiveness.

Not hate.
But Forgive.
Not disgust.
But Forgive.
Not anger.
But Forgive.

As days passed this word was a constant. No matter the thoughts that came into my head, my hands could only type forgive. Everywhere I turned, there was a sign telling me to let go. To move on. To pray.

To forgive.

So here I am.... trying to let go. Working on moving on. On my knees praying. Learning to forgive.

When people are born we are not given the choice to choose our family. We are not allowed to pick the easy road and check "perfect" on the application. We are not given the opportunity to voice our opinion on what we think is best or right for us and we are surely not asked where we want to end up. We grow into what we are raised to be.

However, we are given the choice as we grow older to be good or bad. We are allowed to choose the path we wish to travel and we can check "as close to perfect as possible" on our own application on who we hope to become. We are given the right to say what we please, but more importantly, given the ability to know when to keep quiet. We grow into what we are raised to be by applying the knowledge and tools given to us to make us a good, honest, GODLY person.

This world is tough. There is no doubt about it. Experiences and people will tear you apart if you let them. We are all broken in some shape or form and everyone is struggling with their own demons. It's what makes us human. It's what makes us unique. There is no instruction manual for how to get through life unchiped or unhurt. The only way out is to have faith. To believe life gets better, that people can change, and that GOD IS GOOD.

As the days have passed, I have realized the more I dwell on this experience, I am doing more harm than good. The anger I held on to. The hateful words I thought, and yes, sometimes expressed to those closest to me. The pain I couldn't let go of. It was only hurting me. It was doing nothing to them. Isn't that what my goal was to begin with? Getting even?

Funny how things can look so different when you take a step back and breathe...

I wasn't raised to be unkind and hurtful. I was never taught to talk badly to or about someone and I surely was never told how to be disrespectful. I did not grow into that kind of person, because I was not raised that way. I'm a good, honest, christ-loving woman who is patient and understanding.

I am a forgiving person.

But why is it that I must forgive someone that feels they have done no wrong? How is that fair? Why is it me that must make a mends or find peace after their wrong doings? It doesn't seem right.

Truth is that it's not right that I am paying the price for the unkindness of another person, but it is right that I'm having to answer for my own participation. It seems unfair that I'm the one suffering when they have probably not thought twice about their actions or words, but my suffereing is not from them, it is from myself.

I am a forgiving person... when it comes to forgiving others.

When I look back and think of all that happened I can see that as wrong as this person was to say and act the way they did, I can not judge. I was no better. I was not acting how I was raised. I was acting as ungodly as they were and He knows I know better. I'm not saying it's easy to walk away from a circumstance when you and your family are being verbally attacked, but I know He would have given me the answers and the appropriate way to respond had I just listened.

He is a forgiving God.

Thank goodness for that!

I do not agree and do not condone the behavior that took place, but I apologize for my part in it. I will not deny that my heart still aches for the hurt my family was put through on a day they will never get back, but I will admit I had part in it. I can not control the actions of others, but I can control my own.

It's time to let go. I'm ready to move on. I remain on my knees praying.

I've learned to forgive them... and myself.

In my opinion, in the end, it all comes down to me and God on the road to FORGIVENESS.

And I know in my heart that He has forgiven me.

He has given me the chance to turn a terrible moment into a cherished memory all the while teaching me the real meaning behind forgiveness.

James 1:19 "But let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger."

Not MY Child

2009-07-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

Ok - so over at MckMama's, she has decided to change up her usual "Not Me Monday" to "Not My Child" which of course I must take part in, because... it's abnormal for my children to act up! =)

And well, I felt after the past week(s) we recently had, there is just too much to not just laugh about .... For instance:

Jace NEVER tried to eat crushed granite! He would NEVER do something like that, and then when questioned what was in his mouth, he totally did NOT try to hide it by sitting on it. Not MY child!

Jace's new thing when he gets angry is NOT to scream NO so loud while clentching his fists ~~while steam blows out his ears~~ because he's a complete angel all the time and he would never be mean. Nope, not MY child.

Just like Hank would NEVER intentionally make Jace so mad just to see/hear him scream like mentioned above. Nah, not the sweetest big brother ever -- not MY child.

Jace so did NOT throw a cucumber covered in ranch at me last night after crawling on the kitchen table when he decided he was finished with dinner, because well, that would make me a bad mom for laughing instead of punishing him and well, I'm SUPER MOM and my kids are always well behaved little men! My child would NEVER do something like that.

And I promise Jace did not take the steak bone from dinner last night and start chewing on it like the dog was doing to the other because that would be just gross.... and weird! Ha, that would be pretty darn funny if he did do that tho, don't ya think? But it wasn't MY child. Nope!!

The hardest part about participating in Not MY Child is where to stop!?! Seriously, I could go on and on and on because my kids are always ~~perfect~~ up to something!

What did your kiddos NOT do this week?? C'Mon... it's theraputic, so hop on over to MckMama's page and join in on the fun! =)

Header??

2009-06-24T22:26:00.000-07:00

I'd love some feedback on my header!?! I have been trying to figure out how to do this whole blog design thing for a while now and this is really my first "go" at it...

so please let me know what you think!!!

Thanks!

A man. A son. A husband. A father.

2009-06-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago my husband was just a man. A son. A brother. A friend.

Six years ago my husband became just that; a husband.

Five years ago my husband became a father.

When I met Shay, I knew almost immediately that he would be my husband. There was no doubt in my mind that ONE DAY I would marry him. We had our first date and that was it for me. Since then (June 12, 2002) we have spent less than a month a part (combined), day or night. We were inseperable then and not much has changed. Some call us crazy. Some think it's weird. I say it's love.

14 months after that first date, we became husband and wife.

Not too long after, we welcomed our first son, and my husband was no longer just a man. He was no longer just a son. He was no longer just a husband. He was now a father. The BEST father. My son's father.

Never in a million years did I think about that.

I never even thought to "picture" him as a dad. I always knew I wanted kids. I always wanted a family.... four children actually (ha ha -- I was young and dumb, kidding!), but it honestly never crossed my mind about this man, this son, this friend, MY husband, being a father.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I doubted his abilities of being a father. I just never put two and two together. I think mostly it was because I was selfish and at that moment, all I could think about was he was MY husband. That was enough. That was all I wanted. He was MINE and I didn't want to share. ;)

But from the moment he became a father, things changed.

I was now tied to him for life. Wow. I thought I was lucky when he became my husband, but how blessed I was when he became my boys father. How fortunate they are to have a man like him to look up to. To be their role model. To show them how to be a man.

This fathers day was like most other days -- crazy, loud, chaotic -- perfect.

We, as a family of four, spent the weekend together, doing nothing out of the ordinary. We hung out at home and enjoyed each other. It was just right. Sure, we would have loved to be on some beach somewhere, drink in hand, listening to the waves crash and enjoying the beautiful scenery, but as long as we are together as a family, we are happy with whatever/wherever we are.

I know this post is late considering fathers day was on sunday and my husband does not read this at all, I still wanted to say Happy Fathers Day to the love of my life, my best friend, my better half, the best father I could dream of for my children, my husband, Shay. It is you who makes this family complete. You truly are such a blessing to the three of us and I could not ask for more than you give to us. I thank God for you everyday and pray that know just how much we appreciate and love you. I knew from that first date that you would be something special in my life, but I had no idea that you would change my life as much as you have.... so thank you. Thank you for being you. For loving our boys and for loving me unconditionally. I didn't think I could love you more than I did that day we got married. I was wrong. I love you more today than I did yesterday and look forward to loving you even more tomorrow.

Happy Fathers Day to one of the best Fathers I've ever known!!

And of course, I can't forget to honor my father, step-father and father-in-law on this special day. Without the three of them I would have never known what kind of man I wanted and deserved. My dad has always been a very special man in my life and no matter how old I am, I will always be a daddy's girl. My step dad has also been a huge part of my life for the last 10 years and he is so much more than a "step" parent. My father-in-law is truly amazing and he really showed my husband how to be a father...so I will forever be thankful to him (and my MIL) for rasising such a wonderful man for me to love!

If you call "this" a laundry room...

2009-06-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

Ok.... so over at Kelly's Korner, every friday she hosts "show us where you live friday" and it's a way to show a different room in your house. I've followed and enjoy seeing how other people decorate their homes because it gives me ideas and inspiration, but this week I decided it was time to join in. I had no plans on linking to her site to show ~~the world~~ her readers different rooms in my house, because well, they aren't anything special because we have YET to paint or do all the things we have said we wanted to do 2 years ago when we moved in....but I thought maybe this week I'd give it a shot only because I worked pretty darn hard at getting this mess cleaned up!

One of the biggest things I DIDN'T like about this house when we were looking was that I hated the laundry room and pantry being ONE. I also didn't like that the bedrooms were upstairs and the laundry room was down. Please explain how that makes ANY sense??? Although I do have to say it's a good work out having to go up and down with heavy loads of laundry everyday.... so I guess that's the only upside to it's location.

Anyway, I've struggled for the last (almost) 2 years we've lived here how to manage keeping the laundry and food "away" from each other. Until now, I haven't been able to get it together, but now, I've slowly but surely got it figured out!! *i hope anyway* It's nothing fancy and no where near as nice as most of the other laundry rooms I've seen so far, but hey, it serves it's purpose so I can't complain! =-)

So without further ado..... I will show you my before pictures of my laundry room/pantry as of yesterday at noon (be prepared to laugh/gasp):

*standing in the kitchen as you enter the pantry/laundry room*

*as you walk in a little more, looking to the left*

*standing by the door that leads to the garage*

*and the lovely pantry side -- top*

*bottom*

Ok now that I have completely embarrassed myself by showing you all what I allowed this to come to, I will gladly show you what I spent many hours doing yesterday:

*same order*

*A&M cup is for spare change, the bucket on the shelf holds all the koozies we have, the black boxes are hair clippers for my hubby to cut the boys hair with*

*all my SUPER cheap or even better, FREE, laundry detergent, ha!*

*the pantry side -- might not look too much better, but in person it's a million times more organized and functional! -- top*

*middle*

*bottom - and yes, i totally scored 8 more packages of $.59 and $.69 juice boxes the other day that i talk about here*

Ok, well there ya have it! I felt pretty accomplished yesterday..... now let's see if I can tackle that "so called garage" of ours today! I might be getting in over my head.... maybe I should rethink that idea....hmmm?!?

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2009-05-29T05:57:00.001-07:00

Excuse the mess! My page is under construction at the moment, so many changes will be happening over the new few days/weeks!

Never been one for cliche's, but...

2009-05-27T01:09:00.000-07:00

A dear friend of mine from my MOPS group just lost their beloved cat and now this family is learning how to deal with the loss of a pet, whom they consider a family member, just like most of us pet owners do.

Sure, to some people, losing a pet is something they don't see as "tragic" or difficult, but to those of us who have furry (or other exteriors lol) children/family members, it really isn't much, if any, easier to handle than losing a loved one, that is human. I know for me, losing my dog years ago was something I felt embarrassed to grieve about because I didn't think people would understand why or how it could be so painful. It was "just a dog" to them, but to me, he was so much more and for lack of better words, it hurt like hell!

After reading her email and the responses of others, it really got me thinking. How many times do we pet owners just pass by our "furry family members" in the rush of everyday living? How often do we blow off their needs to put ours first? I know I'm guilty of these things and after stepping back and slowing down to look at the bigger picture, it breaks my heart. I think the hardest part is my dog, Little Man, loves me more than I've showed him I love him. I might walk past him 20 times and not say or do anything. If that were a person (my husband/children) they would take it personal. They would probably say something or get their feelings hurt. Not Little Man. He just goes with the flow and on that 21st time I walk by and DO acknowledge him, he loves me just as much as he did before I ignored him. No grudges held. He just loves me. End of story.

How is that?!? How is it that a dog (or cat or any creature) can just forgive and forget without ever thinking twice? Why is it that no matter what we may do (or don't do) they stick around and keep loving us unconditionally? I think we humans have underestimated our animals and have quite a bit to learn from our furry friends!

Of course, I can sit here and say from now on I'm going to stop and give my little man a little more attention. I'm going to love on him and show him that I care more often. That's easy to say, but when life gets in the way, it's just as easy to skip that because he isn't demanding my attention or time (unlike my relentless children whom demand my time *or bed* even in the middle of the night - haha). But the truth is, isn't that we do with anything or anyone in that position?

Aren't we all guilty of blowing off the someone who at the moment isn't needing us? I can't even tell you how many times I've (sadly) had to "push aside" (not literally) Hank because Jace needed me, and well, "he's the baby" so he doesn't understand. Or how about everyday when my husband gets home and instead of spending the little time with him we have, I'm busy cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry or catching up on emails that I didn't get to in the day? Maybe if Hank was jumping up and down and waving his arms in front of my face telling me he needed me, I'd listen more or pay closer attention. Maybe if my husband walked in with a sign flashing above his head saying "spend time with me" iId put down the laundry and just sit and talk with him about his day, work or life in general just because we can.

As I sit here (at 3:25 am -- thank you Jace for kicking me out of my own bed!) I'm crying my eyes out. Sure, maybe it's cuz I'm female and I cry over commercials (no I'm NOT pregnant! lol) and I'm SOOOO tired, or maybe it's because once again I've been hit on the head with a thousand pound rock opening my eyes to something that is/was so easy to see to begin with! Maybe it's because I'm embarrassed to even post this because that would mean I'm admitting to not being "super mom/wife" and acknowledging that, no, I can't do it all. I haven't figured out a good balance. I don't know how to please the world, much less those in my house, 100% of the time, and I don't like that.

I'll be the first to admit I'm guilty of putting things off until tomorrow. I'm a pro at procrastination and "hold on, in a minute, not now" have become my top 3 things I say in a day, after "NO!, stop that, are you serious? and what now?" I've totally got you beat on "organized chaos" in the house and having it all together, well that's not for me! Does that make me a bad person, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend? Man, I sure hope not.

Truth is, it's not fair, nor right, of me to postpone what should and needs to be done TODAY. It's not okay for me to just blow someone off because at that moment someone else needs me more. Sure there are times when it's necessary for me to go to Jace over Hank due to age and size factor, but to never return to Hank because he moved on to something else, isn't okay. I don't want to give him the impression that Jace (or anything) is more special than he is, nor do I want my husband to think the dishes, a clean living room or folded laundry, comes before him. And I certainly don't want my poor dog to think he is just a fixture in this house of no importance.

I guess what I'm saying is the same ol' cliche "don't put off til tomorrow, what could be done today" (or however that saying goes). I'm not preaching to anyone but myself here. I'm not making any promises I know I won't keep. I'm def. not going to say I'm giving up everything that is a distraction in my life so I can focus on the important things. I'm just here to say I want to find a good balance. I want to find what works for ME. Not what someone else tells me I should do. I'm not a scheduler. I can't tell you what I'm doing next week. Don't ask me to plan a vacation a year from now. So for me to dare say "from xx time to xx time I'm going to give Hank undivided attention" and so on, won't work. Instead, I'm going to open my eyes a little wider and make my brain work a little harder (lol) to see what's right in front of me: the love of my family members... all 4 of them -- little man included!

I'm going to take this trying time for a friend of mine and learn from it, because why else would bad things happen to us or those we care about if it weren't to teach or show us, or anyone around us, a lesson? I truly believe all things have a purpose. Bad things happen to good people. Mistakes are lessons learned and hard times are God's way of showing us that anything is possible at any given moment, so we better make the most of what we have in the time we have to make it in.

I want my family and friends to know I care because I tell them and show them all the time, not just because I said it days, weeks or months ago. Selfishly I want the peace and comfort of knowing that I did all I could do to make sure those around me that mean so much, know how important, special and loved they truly are. Who knows where I'll go from here. Maybe I'll learn to use my time more wisely. Hopefully I'll find a fair, middle ground that I feel comfortable with. I pray I'll learn how to forgive and forget easier and find holding grudges harder; appreciate what I have more and desire what I don't less; embrace new challenges and let go of what's easy; and mostly, to speak softer and love harder!

Here we go...

2009-04-22T05:51:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm back and it's ready.... well, as ready as it's gonna be until I figure out how to do all the things I want.... ugh who would have thought all those years in computer classes would slowly leak from my brain and I feel like a complete idiot trying to do things I used to be able to do with my eyes closed! Sheesh..... talk about being overwhelmed and AGGRIVATED!

Anyway, go on and head over to Lil' Bits of Life and check out all the changes going on. Excuse the mess and ignore the many changes that will be happening in the next few weeks. Hopefully I'll get the background, color, header and font issues figured out soon (or maybe someone here will come to my resuce?!?!?) and then it will be ALLLLL good! =)

Go see if there is something that you might be interested in. Losing weight. Saving Money. Finding comfort and understanding from someone who has/is going through all the same things you are. Learn new things about yourself, your spouse, your children and your life. Make changes that will improve who you are, who you want to be, and what you want to do. Get organized. Gain the confidence in your abilities as a mother and wife, and mostly, as a woman. The possibilities are endless. So many things are happening over at Lil' Bits of Life, so be sure to check back often and see what's new and learn how to make every Lil' Bit of YOUR life count!

Brown, chocolate and casper white

2009-04-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful Easter in Arlington with my in-laws. It was a long trip for a short stay, but worth it. It's been months since we were there, so it was nice to have the opportunity to get back up there and see (most) everyone.

Of course, I missed my family, but they too had a good Easter weekend (in all the different places they were). My mom and grandma went to Mississippi to see our extended family, and I'll admit, I was jealous. I so badly want to go back. I haven't been there since my freshman year in college and it wasn't to go for fun, but for a funeral. =( Next year.... that's the plan anyway!!!

So, while we were in Arlington we were able to go to Mimi and Papa's place (the hubs grandparents) and they had a little Easter entertainment for the kiddos. The magician was a little interesting to say the least, but the kiddos enjoyed the bunny and balloon animals, so I guess it was a hit. Every Easter my in-laws do a Easter egg hunt for us "big kids" (and the little ones get their own of course) but instead of candy, we get money. Who wouldn't want that?!?

Well this year, there was $100 hidden in eggs in the front and back yard and in the house. There was also a $20 golden egg (actually not golden in color, but you get the point). So with 7 "big kids" hunting it was over before it began. (let me let you in on a little secret.... cheating is not below us! lol) So to make a long story short, there is still $6 missing! How in the world can six eggs be hidden so well NO ONE (not even the person that hid them) can find them? I think my BIL really has them and just didn't tell anyone...lol. That's my theory anyway...

It's so much fun that eve 20-30 something ages look forward to this tradition every year. It is something we will def. pass on with our kiddos. It's so funny to see the measures everyone (not me!! ha) will go to to find these eggs and beat the other person out of getting the most eggs/money. It's all in good fun tho.

So anyway.... this is a rambling post. I have so much that needs to be done, so much I want to say, yet my mind is scrambled. I'm so mixed up right now I don't know which way is up. I'm just kind of spinning around, wondering if/when it will stop. I need a vacation.... Nicaragua anyone? Sorry, the hubs is bound and determined to move me there -- the personal maid and cook for $120 a month is sounding pretty appealing to me right now.... Would you all come visit?

I'll let you with a funny Hank story/comment...

When Mimi and Papa came for Easter sunday their caretaker dropped them off. She's a wonderful lady and so good at what she does. I know my MIL is so thankful for her and all she does for her parents...

Well Hank was excited Mimi and Papa had arrived and informed my MIL that they were there by saying "Mimi and Papa are here.... the brown lady brought them."

Kids say the darnest things! Guess it's better he say that than when my niece said "look mom, she's chocolate!"

I know they don't know better and they mean NO harm by any thing that comes out of their mouths. I hope anyone who reads this takes NO OFFENSE by any comment... Everyone is the same in God's eyes and we see everyone as equal in our eyes in this house.... Even if you are brown, chocolate or casper white like myself.

Lil' Bits of Life

2009-04-08T13:19:00.001-07:00

Do you ever feel like everything/one around you has just gone mad? Like they are on something and forgot to give you some? Lately, I can't help but want to yell at any/every one and inform them of what a huge idiot they are!!!

People can't drive. People are so inconsiderate. It seems to get a job these days, whether it's at a fast food place, supercenter, grocery store or a department store, you have to have NO qualifications. They hire anyone.... so for those of you who can't find a job, just head up to your local supercenter and submit an application. If you can push a button, you'll get the job. O wait, you'll get the job just for being interested. Try it.... I bet I'm right. =)

As you can see, from my lack of posts about the *steals and deals* I've been getting, I shop.... a lot. Like I have nothing else to do, I probably go to at least 1 store twice a day. Yes, I did say ONE store TWICE. So it seems I'm becoming an expert on these "inexperienced" employees of the stores I frequent often. I don't want to point fingers or out any stores, but I have YET to come across one person that rings me up at ANY store that gets it. They look at me like "wow, how'd you manage to pay $1 oop (out of pocket) for $56 worth of stuff? They seem so amazed like I have some big secret, but truth is, it's no secret at all. It's actually aggrivating to me to think it's even taken me this long to figure out what is "common sense" to me now. O well... better for me I guess that they don't know! lol

So anyway.... it's humpday.... aka wednesday, which means tomorrow is the last day of the week for us, since friday is Good Friday, and today is just about over at this point. Normally this is a great news.... but right now, this is stressing me out to the max!!! I can't even tell you how much is going thru my head right now of all the things I need to do (or should be doing) but I don't even know where to start. I'm a little overwhelmed, so I am doing what do best, laying in bed, blogging. Seems like a good idea to me!! Dontcha think??

Since I'm procrastinating all the important things I need to take care of, I wanted to update you guys and let you know I'll soon be changing my Lil' Bits of Life blog to much more than my weight loss journey. Yes, I plan to fix it and change it up quite a bit and use it to continue selling my "miracle" diet pills (lol) but my goal is for it to be so much more than that. I hope you all will fall in love with it as much as I have fallen in love with my idea and plan. I have been praying a LOT about what my next step is. Where I'm supposed to be going, and I truly feel God has opened the doors for me that have recently come into the light. I'm so incredibly thankful for all the changes taking place in my life right now and I hope to share all of the details with you guys soon, but for now, please jump on over to Lil' Bits of Life and click the FOLLOW ME link to start following me. I hope within the next week to have things up and going and I'll be blogging much more often!!! I'll be sharing all my "secrets" to all my deals and steals and so much more.... Please, pass along my blog to anyone you think would enjoy it or benefit from it. I'd greatly appreciate the help getting my *new business* out there.

Alrighty then, that's about it for now. I guess it's time to get busy doing the things that must be done before tomorrow, but don't forget to keep an eye out for the new changes going on over at Lil' Bits of Life and start following me..... you'll be glad you did.... cuz "every little bit counts" and I'll show you how to make every little bit matter.

Cuz I'm good at procrastination

2009-04-03T12:24:00.000-07:00

Outside My Window… is our backyard, but from where I'm sitting, I can see the cul-de-sac behind our house and the houses on the other street..... that look just like ours.... blah. At least our landscaping looks better than theirs! ha

I am thinking… that I should be napping instead of on here since I've been up since 3 am!

From the kitchen… we got our new dishwasher installed today, yet I can't use it for 24 hours (at least) due to the "glue" needing to dry!!! AH, what's one more day of doing the dishes after doing them by hand for the last, lets see.... um.... 10 months...yeah that's right, 10 LONG months and almost cutting my knuckle off!!

I am wearing… my shirt and underwear because I'm laying in bed beind lazy! lol... actually I'm laying in bed doing much needed work on my computer.... yes folks, i do have WORK to do on the computer, while reading blogs of course! =)

I am creating… it's a secret! You'll have to wait and see when i'm done!!

I am going… to wrap this up, chill out/rest until Jace gets up from his nap and then it's off to Best Buy, Staples, Walmart, Hanks school, Walgreens, possibly Target and home.... doesn't that sound like fun with kiddos in tow?!?!? then it's laundry time, but TGIF!!!!! (hey -- maybe i'll wait til the hubby gets home and i'll go to walgreens and target ALONE -- whatcha think?)

I am reading… obviously this at the moment. Actually I was just thinking earlier that I want to find a good book to get into.... any suggestions??? Preferrably something based on facts... I'm not much of a "fiction" person.

I am hoping… this is all turns out how I have planned!!!

I am hearing… silence...and it's the BEST "sound" in the world!

Around the house… you will find MUCH that needs to be done...but NOTHING that can't wait until tomorrow =)

One of my favorite things… is a quiet evening with my hubby, watching a movie, laying in bed, catching up with each other and all that good stuff.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: considering it's FRIDAY, I'd have to say plans for the weekend as of now are to just do what we want. It's nice to not have anything going on and just be here with no expectations. I'm seriously super excited it's finally here!!

Got anything you wanna share?

DEALS AND STEALS COMING SOON!!

2009-03-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, well I've been the worst blogger ever to leave you guys hangin wondering about my deals and steals!!! I swear it's all about to change!!! I don't have all the details put together just yet, but hang in there and I hope tomorrow I'll have some great news to share with you all!!!

Never stop praying

2009-03-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

I know I often ask you guys (all 2 of you) to pray for me or my family. I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that there are people that love me enough to pray for MY family, possibly people you guys might not know.... but you still do it. You still pray because you care about me, but mostly because you know that if I'm here asking for prayers, it means something. I'm not one who asks for much, but at times like these, I know this is much more than I can handle alone, so I'm here asking for your prayers, again.

This time, it's not for me. It's not for my family. (although please keep my grandma in your prayers with her treatments because she is not doing too well, but that's another post) This time I'm asking, no, begging you to pray for Stellan and this precious one. Both of these babies need your prayers. They need to be in your thoughts. They need to be consumed with so much love that it gives them both the strength to keep fighting. Their families need our prayers just as much.

Stellan touched the lives of so many people before he even entered this world. So many months ago I came across MckMama's blog and as the days passed by I felt as though I knew her. I feel today as though she is as real as someone I really know in real life. She has opened her life and her heart to thousands and sharing her story has truly changed my life in ways I can't even begin to explain. The least I can do to thank her, her family and that amazing little "MckMiracle" of hers is to share their story and ask that you all pray. Never stop praying!

This little one needs our prayers just as much. Over a year ago I asked for you guys to pray for her brother, Coy. He was a micro premie born at just 23 weeks with hardly any chance at survival, but he beat the odds and now is a growing, healthy, beautiful ONE year old!!!! His momma, Ann Marie, and I (and her younger sister, Stephanie) grew up together most of our lives (thru dance and then school), and although we were never really close she has always been someone important in my life. I used to "look up" to her when we danced together and think to myself that someday I wanna be like her.... and now I look at her and think, wow, what an amazing, strong, Godly woman she has become and I still hope to be like her someday. Her strength and trust in the Lord through all she has endured is something to be admired. I'm not sure I could do what she did. I'm not sure I could do what she is doing now. The fear inside me would surely overpower everything else, but not her. Her faith and relationship with God is stronger than anything that can happen to her, and this right here shows that without a doubt. I also grew up with her husband Chris. I think our families have known each other for more years than I have been alive and again, even tho he and I were never really close growing up, when you have people like him and his family in your life for as long as I have, you just have this connection and this feeling that I've got to do my part in helping him and Ann Marie and their little babies. I know if the situation were reversed, they'd be doing the same and I can only hope if any of you reading were ever in a situation like theirs, that you know they'd be right there praying with me, for you.

So here I am, once again, asking you guys to pray. To pray for healing. For strength. For courage and wisdom. Pray for understanding and peace and comfort. Please pray God will hold both of these families close and their little ones even tighter in these next few hours, days, weeks or months. For however long it takes for them to be healed and healthy. As we all know, God has His plan. We can pray and beg and plead for what we want to happen, but His answer will be what He knows is right. He had a plan in place for these little angels long before they ever exsisted. He is not surprised by what is going on. He is not worried. He is not scared of the unknown. He is at peace with his decisions, but He is listening..... so please.... never stop praying, because He hears you!

Invasion of privacy

2009-03-17T06:58:00.000-07:00

I will post later this afternoon about this weeks **DEALS AND STEALS** but I had to share my o-so-smart-sons thought for today....

He came into my room a minute ago asking if a shirt e picked out was ok to wear and I explained to him that it as too hot to wear long sleeves today (surprisingly... cosidering 2 days ago it was 30+ outside). He then replied with:

H -"Yeah, it was cold 2 days ago and now it will be hot for 2 days and then cold for 2 days and then maybe hot for 3 days. What do you think mom?"

Me- "Hopefully it will be hot for the next 5 days baby.... or better yet, maybe it will just stay hot for good"

H- "Mom did you know, hot and cold make thunder?"

Me- "Oh really? How do you know this?"

H- "Yeah, when hot and cold (animating with his hands and clapping them together) get together, it makes thunder. I don't like thunder. It scares me."

Me- "Oh thunder isn't scary, just loud. You are thinking lightning is scary"

H- "Yeah, cuz when it comes down and shocks you, you do this (and again animates spazzing out) and it shows your bones. I don't want anyone to see my bones. I like my privacy."

There you have it people... from the wise mouth of my child, don't get struck by lightning or it will show your bones and invade your privacy, and well, none of us want that now do we?

Seriously?!? Where do they come up with this stuff?

DEALS AND STEALS

2009-03-12T13:02:00.000-07:00

Go ahead, look and be jealous! =)

Yes, my dear readers, I bought ALL of this (and 3 things not pictured) for just dollars over $100!!!

Let me clarify what is exactly in this picture so you can be even more amazed:

(8) packs of huggies diapers

(4) packs of huggies 132 count wipes

(4) arm and hammer 32 load laundry detergent

(7) irish spring body wash

(24) bars of dove soap

(3) garnier fructis hair care items

(1) glade sense and spray

(1) glade lasting impressions fan

(2) 30 count zyrtec

(5) tubes of colgate toothpaste

(4) tubes of crest toothpaste

(2) gillette fusion razors

(4) 30 count packs of sambucol cold and flu medicine

(1) 100 count bottle of vitamin D

(1) vaseline lotion

(1) right guard xtreme

(1) dry idea

(1) oreo milk flavored straws

**items not pictured**

(1) palmolive dish soap

(1) 6 pack of bottled water

(1) small bag of candy lollipops

AND STILL HAVE $10 RR to spend! Now that my friends, is one heck of a deal!

Yes, I'm dead serious!!! If you added up the cost of these items right now, without tax it would total around $380.... so folks, I felt I had the right to brag just a little and show off what a bargain shopper I am....

For any of you that are interested in how to do this on your own, please leave a comment and send your friends on over to check it out too so I can share all my secrets with you!!!! If there are enough of you that are interested, I will start weekly *DEALS AND STEALS* posts to get you all started and do the "hard" work for you all so you too can start saving your hard earned money and learn to get things for FREE just like me. =)

Buh-Bye for now, and don't forget to leave a comment and send your friends by to check out my goods!!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

As H would say "Oh yeah baby"

2009-03-10T21:20:00.001-07:00

So for those of you who know me, know shopping is seriously a "sport" for me. I have always been the "go to person" when someone is looking for that perfect gift or a really good deal.... but even I surprise myself sometimes!!!

I couldn't help myself so I just had to share my oh-so-fun-and-new-addiction.....

COUPONING!!!

I don't mean just coupons for $.30 off something, I mean FREE stuff baby! Please tell me, who doesn't like to get things for FREE??? Even better, stuff you USE or NEED???? If you say you don't, then you can go ahead and leave right now.... lol....

Getting on with it..... I will now share with you my bargains of the day..... and yes, I'm sure there will be even more tomorrow and I can only hope more after that and after that and .... well.... you get the picture.... or you can see the picture.... whatever --

Alright, so I know you guys are thinking "ok, so what.... you bought some stuff....blah blah" but first, before I share the secret, I want to know what you think all this cost???

**CHECK BACK TOMORROW for ANSWER and MOST GREAT DEALS AND STEALS**

Keep 'em comin'

2009-03-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to post a quick update with my grandmas results today. They found some spots on her lungs in the CAT scan she had last week. She is scheduled for a PET scan on friday to see more details on the spots, but we do know it is cancer. Thankfully tho, it was caught very early and the dr is very optimistic chemo can knock it out and no surgery will be needed. The Dr said this is not uncommon for colon cancer patients and she seemed as if this was "no big thing." Of course, it's a "bigger deal" to us, my grandma, but she is taking it SO well. Better than I am I think...ha.

She is so strong and determined, I don't think anything can stop her from fighting and getting thru this with no problems at all. She is thinking positive and taking it day by day and allowing God to lead her where He wants her to be. What more can she do? What more does she want to do? It's not in her hands, so why should she focus on something she really has no control over? She is giving her worries to Him and going to do everything she can do to beat this, once again, and come out stronger than before. I have faith she will!!

The chemo will be started next tuesday and will be fairly easy like before. She tolerated chemo before really well and we are hoping this time will be no different. She was never sick or anything and the dr said this go round should be just as simple, if not even easier.... Praise God!!! There will also NOT be any surgery!!! What wonderful news that was. The recovery of her surgeries from before were probably the hardest part of it all. So I know she is as thrilled as we are that surgery is not in the cards.

Please keep praying for her to handle the chemo well, for it to do what needs to be done to get rid of this terrible disease and that it will NOT return, EVER! Mostly, please that He will always make Himself known to her, even in the tough moments..... mostly in those!!! Please pray for her strength and understanding. That she will find comfort in science and that these dr's know what they are doing and that everything possible is being done. Thank you ALL for praying and your kind words and emails. You have no idea how much it means to me and my family. We truly appreciate all of it and know you all are in our prayers as well.

I can't say it enough -- God is SOOOO Good!!!!!!

I need your prayers

2009-03-05T14:54:00.000-08:00

I started my last two posts with full intentions of asking for you all to pray. I was planning to tell the story and share the circumstances of why I'm asking for prayers. As you can tell from reading the previous two, that I never got around to asking you all to pray for my grandma. Maybe I got caught up in what was going on with me personally yesterday or maybe I just couldn't face the fact that once again I'm here, asking you all, to pray for her. Not that I don't want the whole world to pray for her (or anyone I know and love) everyday for no reason at all, I just don't want to be here asking for prayers for THIS reason.

Some of you may know, almost 2 years ago my grandma was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. It was devastating, to say the least. It felt so wrong. So unfair, that someone like her, someone so loving and caring, would have to suffer that way. I'm not saying anyone who gets cancer deserves it, but seriously, she is someone who does no wrong. She's a faithful follower of Our Lord. She has never been a smoker or drinker. Never done all the things you associate people with cancer doing. Obviously I know ANYONE can get cancer, but I have to admit when I first hear of someone that has it, I immediately think "it makes sense since they've been smoking 20+ years." I know that might sound cruel or harsh, but it's the truth.

My grandma on the other hand, is not that person. She is truly one of the most beautiful women I've ever known. She loves with all she has. She does more for people, no matter who they might be, than many people do for their own family. Her bond with Hank is so special, I don't think even I understand it all. They just have this connection and no one else compares. Partly, that's what scares me the most. I don't know what I will do if (and it WON'T.... it can't!!) anything ever happens to her.....

After finding out about her cancer, she had surgery and did chemo and radiation and slowly, but surely recovered. From then on, things have been anything but easy for her, but she's here. She's healthy. She's cancer free. What more could we ask for? We are eternally grateful for Gods willingness to allow her to stay with us. We are so proud of her and how hard she fought. She is so strong, it's such an inspiration to me.

Every three months she goes for blood work to check certain levels and make sure the cancer hasn't come back. She has scans and sees all kinds of different dr's to get the "ok" and moves on. She finally got the "all clear" and told she didn't have to come back for 6 months! This was wonderful news. Until 2 days ago.

She got a call saying her CEA blood test showed her level had gone up. It has been a constant 4.9 since kicking cancers butt, but this test said her level was 50.1. WHAT?! Are you kidding me? How does it go from 4.9 to 50.1 in 3 months? How is it that every dr has given her the go ahead and all tests have come back normal and now this is making everyone else to be wrong?

I was seriously shocked when she told me. I'm sure she was even more devastated this time than the first time she found out she had cancer. I see now where my mom (and myself) get our strength from. She somehow can hold it all together when everyone else would be falling apart. She told me the news like it was no big thing. I, of course, didn't want to just fall to pieces while talking to her, but I was crumbling inside. I still am.

We don't know any results. We don't know any diagnoses. We don't know much of anything as of right now, but we do know God is good. We know He is here. He is listening. He is working in all of us. I know she is brave. I know she is strong. I know He loves her and I know she loves Him. But I need her. I want her here. I can't live this life without her as a part of it.

So I'm begging you.... I'm pleading with God to save her. To heal her. To make the first tests be wrong. I'm asking Him to do SOMETHING!

Please, be praying for my grandma -- Mammaw to me, Mimi to my son and Pat to the rest of the world. Pray for strength, courage, and the wisdom to know what is right. Please ask God to give our whole family comfort, acceptance and some kind of peace. We need all the help we can get right now. The last few years have been a very trying time for all of us (for many other reasons on top of this) and we finally thought we could breathe again....

I'm on my knees, giving it all to Him. I know He is the ultimate healer and it's out of my hands. I'm asking you to do the same. Pray for my grandmas to have the knowledge they need to help her. To heal her. To cure her.

I know you all will pray. I know you all care. I know I am loved. I feel it. I really, really do.... and I thank you. There are no words to thank you for your kindness and your concern. Nothing I can say or do can express to you my gratitude for praying for my family. All I can say is, I'm praying for you and yours in return.

It's all in His hands now and out of my control. I'm believing God.... I'm trying.... I'm waiting...

It's the Climb

2009-03-05T14:04:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I know I just posted, but like I was saying, it didn't end up where I had planned for it to go.... which is perfect, because it went in the direction it needed to go. It makes posting this a ~~little bit~~ lot easier.

Before starting, I want to share something that I feel changed my whole outlook on how and what I was feeling just a few short hours ago. I also want to let you know that this is not something I just woke up this morning and decided I wanted to know Him. It's something I've been searching for. Praying about. Longing for -- for a very, very long time now. It's been slow, but steady and I truly feel I'm growing and coming to know Our Amazing God and myself more than I ever have before. I also know there is a long road ahead of me and I will face many mountains to climb along the way, but I'm excited and looking forward to what lies ahead.

So, before this turns into another rambling post, let me share with you what I was trying to a second ago. As I was writing my last post, I was sitting in bed (yes, I'm lazy like that) ~~watching~~ listening to CMT when I suddenly couldn't write anymore. I was contemplating deleting everything I had written so far and closing the computer and walking away. Something I've become pretty good at. It's so much easier to turn around and ignore the challenge rather than face it head on and deal with it. Instead, it was as if God already knew exactly what I was about to do and He wasn't going to let me this time. He is ready for me and He knows I'm ready for Him....

Backing up just a step, in case there are any readers who don't know me (doubt it!) I LOVE country music. It's probably one of the main things I listen to and I have this insane connection to certain songs. When I'm struggling and or going through something, good or bad, I can always find something to explain it when my words won't come out right. I'm weird like that. Ask anyone that does know me, if they want a song, for their wedding, a boyfriend or whatever, they call me because I can tell you exactly what you are trying to find.... I'm tellin' you.... I'm weird like that. This is so getting off track....

As I was saying.... Craig Morgan came on CMT and started singing a song I had never heard before. I like him, but he's not someone I think to listen to or look for his new CD if I'm actually going to buy one (which is like, never). Within the first few seconds of hearing this song, I lost it. I literally just started bawling. Now, I will admit it could have been a number of reasons for this, such as the stress I'm feeling at the moment, the frustration and anger I have towards some not-so-great news yesterday, or because I'm female and we have those dreaded times of the month aka PMS and well, you get the picture (sorry for the TMI), but I know it's not because of that. It's Him. My heart just let go.... It opened and He took hold.

He smacked me in the face, grabbed me by the shoulders and said

"I'm here child. Listen to me. I hear you. I forgive you. Let me do my work in you. Believe that I really love you. I will never give up on you"

That's all I needed. With tears flowing down my face, the words just came out and well, that's how my last post came to be. How more clear could it have been? Seriously?!? Just read the lyrics.... He is so GOOD!

"God must really love me" - Craig Morgan

There's been times I've let my faith run thin
Not been the man I should have been
After all the trouble I've been in, I'da gave up on me
I've lived hard and I've lived fast
Lost things I will never get back
Cause someone to look past all of that
God must really love me

When I look at the miracles around me
At the way that I live and the way He forgives
I know He's up there smiling down on me
And I believe the only reason why
I'm still alive is
God must really love me

Wake up and feel you by my side
The perfect girl, the perfect time
And see the way our future shines
God must really love me

When I look at the miracles around me
At the dream that I live and the gift that he gives
I know he's up there smiling down on me
And I believe the only reason why
I get to live this life is God must really love me

When I showed the worst, He saw the best
He pulled the world right off my chest
Every day I wake up I feel blessed
Yeah, I feel so blessed
God must really love me
God must really love me
God must really love me

WOW!

That's all I can say. Sometimes I'm so blind. I'm asking for an answer or begging for a sign, and like I tend to do with my husband, I assume that if it's not done/said in the way I would do it that it's not right, but boy did He put me in my place today.... Not once, but TWICE!

Yes, God got a good laugh today. After I wiped my face, I proceeded to go right back to questioning Him and His way. I sat here and said "alright, I get it. Now what? Where do I go from here? Why me? Why her? Why again? Show yourself!!!"

He once again, proved that it's not up to me. That if I'm going to let go, I have to let it ALL go. I can't do it half way and it will all happen and answered in His time. I guess God felt the need to show himself to me a little more and really get my attention. Make me fully understand and believe that He is all around me and He is listening. He really does hear me. The skeptic in me sometimes needs a little more to come around and fully get it..... He knows this.

So what happens??? This....

Again, how much clearer could He be?

"Patience my child. All in good time."

Like Miley says in her video....

"The struggles I'm facing, The chances I'm taking, Sometimes might knock me down, But I'm not breaking"

Thank you Lord. I'm keepin' the faith...

God must really love me.

2009-03-05T13:17:00.000-08:00

For years now I have questioned everything that happens to me -- in my life, in the world, to people I love. I always feel the need to have an answer for anything that might be going on. I have always felt that I could find a reason for whatever it is and that there is always an explanation for everything. Why would God allow this to happen? Why did He feel it was time for me to struggle once again? How come I feel I'm the one that has to deal with so much and the rest of the world is sitting back and enjoying life?

Of course, I knew then, as I know now, that was in no way the case, but when I am having that moment I can't help but be selfish or feel as though I am totally alone and that my world is falling apart all around me.... on top of me and that it's because of something I did or said. It's my fault. I caused this. It's God's way of punishing me for being sinful. "What goes around comes around" and I needed to accept my payback because it was deserved. Again, I know better. I know that's not the way it works. I'm smarter than that, but I can't deny that there have been more times than I can count that I've felt that way. That I've felt whatever I'm dealing with is in some way because of some past bad choice or action and it was up to me to accept it for what it is and move on because I brought it upon myself.

Now, in some way, is one of those times for me. A time of questioning and doubting and feeling I must have done something to deserve this moment. But on the other hand, it's different. Right now, I feel this peace within me, or maybe it's better explained as this new understanding. Understanding and accepting that I truly believe God never gives me more than I can handle. He does not bring bad to my life. He is not the one that makes these things happen. He would never cause pain and suffering to people. Sadly, but truthfully, this is the first time in 25 years that I really believe and understand that. I've always wanted to believe that He doesn't cause people to change or leave. It's not him that gives people cancer. He doesn't make people die. Until now though, I would try to find comfort in Him and really believe that it's not Him, but I can't lie and say I haven't had my doubts. I know I shouldn't question Him, His reasons or His actions. I know it's not for me to completely comprehend. I know I'll never fully understand His reasons for all that happens, but up until recently, I didn't believe. I didn't understand. I didn't know that God is good.... not some of the time -- GOD IS GOOD -- ALL OF THE TIME. I know now.

I feel the need to put myself out there and admit something that is really hard for me to do. I am not the Christian I want to be. I know as some of you read this, you are thinking "well, that's ok, none of us are the person or the Christian we want to be, but that's nothing to be ashamed of," but there is more to it. I'm not the Christian God wants me to be. I don't understand His Word. I don't know His whole story. I don't know what I feel so many other people in my life know and understand. I can't blame anyone else but myself for this. Before now, I've always felt comfortable with just getting by and knowing what I have felt was the important stuff. Call me blind. Call me ignorant. Call me whatever you feel is right, but I'm just being honest here. I'm sharing my heart because I feel it is important for you to know the truth behind who I am and I feel it is my first step in following His calling for me.

I have always had faith in God (well, not always -- there was a dark time in my life that I turned from God and blamed Him for everything I could blame Him for) and I have always thought He was a part of me. I pray. I ask Him to help me. I try. But more often than not, I feel lost. I feel alone. I feel I'm not doing something right. I feel like He isn't here. I question. I beg. I hear nothing. I see nothing. I feel nothing. I am helpless. I let go. I give up. I give in. I walk away.

God, I'm letting go. I'm done. I can't do it alone anymore. I don't want to do it alone anymore. I'm not sure why I ever thought I should even try. I know You. I love You. I feel You. I need You. I'm begging You. Help me. Show me the way. Forgive me. Please, forgive me. My life is Yours and I'm ready for anything You want to give me. I can face it because I have You. "When I showed you the worst of me, You saw the best." Help me see that too. I believe. I understand. I'm ready. I open and I'm willing.

I'm kind of at a loss for words here. I'm really putting myself out there and I feel very vulnerable and I don't like it. I am scared. I am confused and a ~~little~~ lot overwhelmed. Maybe this is something personal I shouldn't share with my readers (all two of you who read lol). But maybe I should. Maybe this is something one of you needed to read. Maybe this is Gods way of putting MY calling into action. I hope so. I pray so. I believe so.

As I started this post, this is not at all where I had intended it to go. I had it all written out in my mind and this is not what it was supposed to say. Then again, nothing happens the way I think it should or the way I plan for it to. When will I learn that it's not up to me? It is not me who makes these decisions and starting now, I will try as best I can to accept and follow His lead.

I am beginning to understand. I am learning to believe. I have faith. In myself. But mostly, In Him.

God must really love me.

Pay It Forward

2009-02-25T11:57:00.000-08:00

I was one of the first three people to leave a comment on Aimee's post, so now it's time for me to play pay it forward on my blog. I TRY to be crafty so hopefully my craftiness will come through for me!

Here are the rules:
Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me - something crafty or yummy, who knows?!

Winners must post this challenge on their own blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift - anything! - for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

The gift that you send to your 3 friends can be from any price range and you have 365days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: it's the spirit and thought that counts!

When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate linky love! If you are not one of the top three commenters on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!

So remember, Pay It Forward!

White Boy Gots Moves!

2009-02-25T06:42:00.000-08:00

Open Mouth, Insert Foot...MORON!

2009-02-23T20:59:00.000-08:00

This is just what I needed to read after a long, eventful, overwhelming, wonderful day with my boys...

(click on article to make it larger to read)

I could so go off right now, lol, but I'll refrain and instead say -- Thank God for great UNDERSTANDING friends I can b*tch about this to tomorrow! =)

Hankster

2009-02-23T14:08:00.000-08:00

There is so much to do around here, yet I still can't figure out where I want to start. I have so many ideas, so many new things I want to do and tell you all about that it going on, but for once in my life, I am going to keep a secret!! Which to those of you that know me, know that's something I am so totally NOT good at. ha! I know in the end it will be well worth it, but dang it -it's tough.

So, anyway, moving on. To those of you with kiddos of your own, can you please tell me that your kids ask 8 million questions a minute and if they don't get the answer they want, they ask the question again, rewording it? Please Please Please... tell me I'm not alone!! Dear Lord, I swear sometimes I think my head is going to explode. I love Hank.... seriously, I love that kid more than anything and I can't even begin to tell you how thrilled I am that he is so darn curious and wants to know anything and everything, compared to some kids who could care less about anything going on around them.... but mama needs a break! Sheesh!!!

He can talk non-stop for hours. Really!!! Actually, it's more like he talks from sun up to sun down and somehow he NEVER runs out of energy. Of course I get the "he's just all boy" all the time from people, but REALLY?!? where does this come from? If you didn't make him go to sleep, he probably wouldn't and he's still be running at 150% the next day. There is no SLOW SPEED for him (well, except for EATING and don't even get me started on that!!).... he is FULL SPEED AHEAD ALL THE TIME!!! It NEVER ends.

Now, I'll say it again.... I love that kid.... but he wears me out. Physically and mentally. I try and I'm praying and working really hard at my patience.... which I actually have quite a bit of, but there comes a time that even the most patient person in the world probably would tell the kid to SHUT UP...ok, well not exactly like that, (and no I don't tell my son to shut up altho there are days I think that might slip out) but they would tape his mouth shut.

So again, I'm asking you guys.... please tell me I'm not alone! Is there anyone else out there that can feel my pain on this and can you please tell me if there is ever an end? lol. He is so damn smart it scares me sometimes. He never forgets a thing (which again I'm told is a "kid thing") but it's really strange to me that he can remember things from when he was 1.5. I can't remember my childhood at all really (which is something I need to seriously take up with my mother I think lol), at least not the younger ages... so how is it that he can tell me exactly what he did and saw in Colorado the FIRST time we went? (mind you he had JUST turned 2 and was barely talking at this point because of his ear issues prior to that) The kid amazes me.

Hank is so special to me. It blows my mind that even friends of mine or teachers or people in the store we don't even know tell me he is the cutest thing they have ever seen, and all those people have kids of their own! Granted a lot of people might say it just because it's the "nice" thing to say, but there are people that tell me and say they are dead serious. lol. I also get told all the time I should get him in acting/commercials/modeling. I'm seriously thinking about it.... that's one way to pay for our retirement huh? KIDDING!

Really tho... he is a ham. He cracks me up. He, like most kids I'm sure, says the funniest things. I know he's five and all, but there are words he says that I never want him to say correctly. I do correct him sometimes on certain things, but I can't help but smile to hear him say somethings because they are so darn cute.

Today I told him we were going to Whataburger to get daddy lunch and he then asked "What is waterburger?" For me to respond "Not waterburger, whataburger baby." He then said "oh, i know, it's a burger with water in it. ok... i get it now!" I just shook my head, smiled and replied "well that makes perfect sense!"

Sometimes I think it's better for a child to think he knows it all. Let him think he figured it out all on his own. Pray he realizes in time (with age) that it's not correct, but again, allow him to learn his own lessons....

Or maybe I just allow him to think what he wants so I can end that series of questions, because had I dare said "no hank, it's what a burger, not waterburger and no it's not a burger with water in it" his response would have gone something like this (said in the voice of an auctioneer you see on tv who talks so fast you can only make out the first and last word)

"no mom, it's waterburger. it's a burger with water in it. because burgers taste like water. and cheese taste like milk. because milk makes cheese and water makes burgers. so it's waterburger, not whaterburger. no mom. it's not. nu-uh. when you bite it theres water inside. but whats the bread? why is it white? it's not all white? why? how come jace got the toy? i want the ball. wheres mine? i want chocate (yes said that like) milk. i dont like milk. why no chocate milk? oh beacuse they ran out. i forgot. that's ok. i like white milk. only sometimes tho. when they don't have chocolate milk for me?" and it goes on and on.... without me getting in one word... no wonder Jace yells at the top of his lungs a lot... he is trying to be heard.... hmm....

maybe i should look into tho talking/questioning thing a little bit more??? What do you think?

I mean but really, how could you do nothing but love this face? Seriously? Getting in trouble in our house is rare, because I can barely keep a straight face when trying to punish this kid.... I'm in so much trouble.....

"my mind is laughin' at me"

2009-02-20T09:37:00.000-08:00

Where do kids come up with these things??

Here is my conversation with Hank on the way to school yesterday:

H: "Mommy, what's today at school?"

Me: "Gymnastics. You aren't in gymnastics tho."

H: "Why?"

Me: "Because you take Karate"

H: "But I want to do gymnastics."

Me: "Well H, gymnastics and karate cost money. Mommy and Daddy aren't made of money unfortunately, so you can't always do everything. So which would you rather? Gymnastics or Karate?"

H: "Um... (laughing) My mind is laughing at me!"

Me: "Excuse me? What did you say? (trying not to crack up)"

H: "My head left it's thinkin at home. I think it's under the car."

Me: "Oh really? It did now... (really trying not to laugh coffee out of my nose)"

H: "Yeah, I can't think if I want Karate or Gymnastics because my head left my thinkin at home under the car. Don't forget to get it when you get home, ok mom?"

Me: "Ok, sure thing dude."

(Drop him off at school)

Later that afternoon...

(Pick him up from school)

Me: "Hey dude, how was your day?"

H: "Good. I got my thinkin back. It was at school."

When things don't always make sense...

2009-02-18T11:46:00.000-08:00

There are things that happen to us and people we know and love everyday that don't always make sense. Things we can't comprehend and things we question why God would do such a thing. Today is one of those days.

A very dear friend of mines sister lost her baby in utero today. She should have been 10 weeks and found out the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks. This isn't the first person I've known this to happen to within the last few months, which I think makes it even harder to handle. I'm devastated. I'm heartbroken. I'm speechless when it comes to comforting words to the mom and my best friend. I wish I had just the right thing to say to take the hurt away. I wish I could make the sting a little less painful. Obviously, I do not have that power, but the good Lord does.

So I'm here, asking you to pray with me. Pray He will help heal their hearts and help them all to make sense of this terrible loss they are now having to process. Please ask Him to help give them the strength they need to pull thru this and find a comforting peace to accept His will for them and their lives.

Before becoming a mother myself I always thought miscarriages happened to "older" women. (shows how naive I was) It seems in the past 5 years that I have been a mom, I've met more women my age that have sadly experienced this, even more than once. Why is this? Why is it that women, the only person that can bare children, are also the ones that have to deal with the feeling of losing the child? By no means am I saying the father is no affected, I'm just saying as women we (most of us) feel it is our job/duty to carry the child because (obviously) the man can't. So why is it that we too have to carry the heavy burden of not being able to carry a child at the same time. Does this mean we are, as we always say, the stronger sex? Does this mean God made us more capable of handling this because He felt we would be able to make something good of something bad?

At times, I feel like as a mom I am the one that has to handle the majority of the "hard stuff." Maybe it's because I am more hormonal or emotional. Maybe it's just being more sensitive. Regardless of the reason, I think I can process the difficult times better and pull thru stronger in the end because I like to take hold of "sticky" situations and deal with them head on. I want to get it over with and move past it, rather than dance around it and wait for it to fix itself. I do not want to downplay how strong of a man my husband is or how amazingly brave he is when it comes to handling the tough stuff. He is wonderful and amazes me with the strength and courage he has everyday to deal with so many things I'd never dare attempt.

But truth be told, when it comes to children, moms just know. We know what they want when they cry. We can tell you exactly what they are saying when all they can speak is giberish. We just "know." Some call is mothers instinct. I call it understanding. I call it strength. I call it mothers love.... because there is nothing like it.

So for today, and tomorrow and all the yesterdays that women out there have lost a child....in whatever way they were lost, know for all of us that have never experienced that unimaginable loss, we still understand. We still feel your pain. We still ache and hurt for your loss. We, as mothers, all relate. We all, in some way, know what you are going thru.

No words can give you the peace you need or the comfort you desire. No amount of love can make it less painful... but prayers can reach something bigger the all of us. He is listening and He can and will give you the peace and comfort your heart needs to heal. He will make the hurt and pain subside, slowly, but surely. He will guide you in the direction He feels you should go. He might not answer your questions with what you want to hear, but if you listen closely, you will get the answer you need. Have faith. Be strong. Pray hard. Never forget that He is with you and with Him, all things are possible.

You are loved Baby Crites.
Please pray for mom, dad and brother of baby and allow them to find the peace and understanding to get through this. We love you guys.

Why I can never get things done...

2009-02-17T16:23:00.001-08:00

Maybe this will explain why it takes me twice as long to complete a simple task that would take anyone else no time at all....

(this was me last week while working on my mission monday)

Seriously tho... how could you not love that face?

Misson Complete

2009-02-16T12:09:00.000-08:00

Alrighty guys... well I obviously failed at one task from Mission Monday -- posting after pictures by friday, but if that's the biggest failure I had, then I'm ok with that.

So with that said, I will now post the after pictures for my completed mission: Our Bedroom.

(this is the only part I still have some work to do. I did however "declutter" my side of the closet and my clothes.... so next it's the hubs side!)

Monday's Mission:OUR BEDROOM

2009-02-09T08:33:00.000-08:00

Okay, so a few months ago I came across a website that was talking about clutter. Not just clutter in your house or car, but clutter in your life. The clutter in your mind and in your heart. For the first few days I was 100% committed and I did what it said and I liked the outcome at the end of the day, but once again, I let life get in the way and I eventually stopped....

But I'm back. I'm determined. I'm ready to take hold of this "clutter" and rid it from my life, my house, my car, my mind, my body and my heart. I'm ready to clean myself and find the true meaning behind all that I have been blessed with.

As most of you know (because I only have like 3 people that read this and you all know me IRL) I've been that kind of person that has liked "things." I hate to say it, but I'm a materialistic person. For as long as I can remember I always liked/wanted the name brands. I got my hair done every 6 weeks without fail and my nails always looked perfect. I appeared to have it "all together." Most people wouldn't have known that was just my way of keep the crumbling pieces from falling apart.

So here I am... many, many years later and all of those things that used to matter so much to me couldn't be farther from my mind. (ex:i haven't had my hair cut in, well, it will be a year in MARCH!) Now, I'm not saying having nice things and taking care of yourself is bad or wrong... because it's not AT ALL. For me, I just needed to learn the meaning behind it all for me and I needed to find a good balance.

Well, I'm still learning and trying to create that balance in my life, but I have to start somewhere. I feel like since losing weight I've lifted a lot of "pressure" off myself about being this person that feels the need to hide who she is. Instead, I want to embrace myself and accept me for who I am, while constantly changing and improving all aspects of her life.

That's where Monday's Mission comes in to place. Back when I first found that blog I was talking about, the first day was to rid clutter in your house. Their challenge was to throw away 27 things. It didn't matter if it was something as small as a piece of paper or to go thru that "do not enter closet" we all have and start purging. Regardless of what it is, all you had to do was throw away 27 things. Simple enough....

Well because I know that is easy and I know it can be done... I've decided to create my own challenges for myself (and you guys if you want to join along). I have areas of my house I always put off for tomorrow. You know, that closest or drawer or cabinet that you know you need to weed thru and get rid of, but it's just not going to be fun.... well no more. I have purged myself of physical weight and now I want to purge the weight of "crap" in my house. I no longer want to walk into a room and be overwhelmed because I don't know where to start or how to fix the problem. I want to feel a clamness come over me no matter where I am. I also no longer want to associate "things" with happiness. I know that sounds shallow or however you want to see/say it, but the truth is, that's how I've measured myself for a long time. The new "whatever" would always make me feel good for a while, but it always faded.

No more. No more crap. No more lies. No more excuses.

So, here I am pledging to re-learn the meaning happiness. I will re-learn the meaning of peace and comfort. I will not only learn how to see the importance in items, but in not having them. I will change. I will teach myself and my children all the things I've lost sight of and make a positive impact on their life and my own. I will declutter my life.

MONDAY'S MISSION RULES:

1. Must take picture of room monday morning just as it looks and post on blog

2. Must spend all week focusing on this room only (while doing regular household chores)

3. Everyday I must pick one section of the room and finish it completely without putting it off for tomorrow.

4. Must take and post picture on friday by 4 pm just as looks, completed or not.

Monday's Mission:

-Pick one room/area in the house to work on that week (I'm giving myself a whole week because I do not want it to take away from my other commitments and responsibilities, nor do I want to overwhelm myself)

-Dedicate my time to decluttering the whole room and giving it a "purpose"

(ex: our bedroom is for US. Calmness, Peace, Relaxation)

-Anything that does not belong for that "purpose" must be removed

-Throw away 27 things

-Donate 12 things

-Reorganize

-Clean from top to bottom

-Show it off!! (post picture)

Alright.... well now that I'm putting it out there, it's something I "must" do. It's not only something I've told myself I will do, you all can hold me accountable so I can't let you guys down!!

So, with risking total embarrassment, I will now post a before picture of the room I've chosen for this week: OUR BEDROOM! (since our bathroom and closet are attached to our bedroom, I'm also including those as bedroom)

Our bedroom: laundry on the floor, sheets in process of being changed, "stuff" without a place

Our bedroom: as you walk in, laundry that needs to be folded, cuttered desk, etc.

Our closet: "stuff" without a place, organized chaos

Our bathroom sinks: always stuff onthe counter

Under one side of the sink

Under the other side of the sink

And I'm BACK!

2009-02-06T14:06:00.000-08:00

I'm BAAAACCCKK.....

Yes we got back last weekend, but this week has been a little hectic around here (then again, when isn't it??) so I havent had time to post... and even now, I don't have time. I just thought I'd share a few pictures real quick and I'll do my best to blog over the weekend.... If not, be watching for monday's post because I already have PLANS for that! =)

We had a blast in Colorado and Hank keeps telling me to have 2 babies in my tummy like the lady with the "big, fat tummy and 8 babies" that we watched on the new while we are there... please someone.... stop this child! He wants one boy and one girl so he can have lots of kids to play with him all the time.... can you tell he needs non-stop entertainment? I don't know WHO he got that from?!? ;)

And so I return.... and leave

2009-01-15T07:24:00.000-08:00

Ok so once again, I have failed you all. I've been the worst blogger lately and I can give you my reasons (or excuses as you probably consider them) but either way, I'm very sorry for leaving you guys hanging like that...

So...backing up. Hank's party was a success, even if the wind was blowing so hard I thought I was going to blow away trying to carry the balloons to the table (yes, we still had balloons... I tried to leave them at home on "accident" but I was reminded as we were about to pull out of the drive way by none other than the birthday boy). Hank had a blast and since that day, I hear at least once a day what he wants to do for his 6th birthday (which I'll have you know, is in.... 10 days according to him) and all the toys he wants to add to his christmas list and whatever he doesn't get from Santa, he wants for his birthday.... in 10 days.... when he turns 6.

WHOA BOY... SLOW DOWN!! I'm still digesting this whole "I have a FIVE year old" thing. I had to tell someone the other day when they asked how old my boys were "he is four.... no, wait, five...." and i just paused, as the lady looked at me like I was a complete moron, which is actually not so un-common....ha. I'm not sure if I'm more upset at the fact that Hank is ACTUALLY five and the time is going by so fast, or if I'm just not liking that it means I'm getting older or that I'm ACTUALLY old enough to have a five year old... I think the latter part wins. =)

So, moving on....

Since then.... we have been going non-stop for the past 2 weeks, but thankfully tomorrow... it will all be worth it!!

We are going to COLORADO... for 8 days! yes.... you read that right folks... WE (including my husband.... I know, I can't believe it either) are going on VACATION!!! WOO HOO!!! I never thought I'd love the snow/cold weather so much in my life, but right now, I can't wait to freeze my @$$ off! I need a BREAK!!!

The boys are going too, so don't think we are getting off EASY or anything, but we aren't going alone. Shay's parents are going to be there, along with his brother Dustin and his wife Dede.... and I'm SO excited to spend the week with my SIL! She is one of my best friends, so we are gonna have a total blast together.... I need some major girl time.... Can you tell I'm ready to go?? You wouldn't believe it if you saw my suitcases.... EMPTY! Yes, I know.... I am slowly becoming the "last minute" kind of person my husband has always been.... and it's driving me even MORE crazy than when he does it. UGH!! How/Why did I allow myself to do this?

Probably because Jace is/has been sick and I'm so worn out I can't even think straight. All I know is I'm praying for an easy flight tomorrow EARLY morning (might I add... that's 6:25 AM I'm referring to) and beautiful weather with plenty of snow to ski and sled in!! Lord knows we need this and God willing He will give it to us. =)

So.... I must now get busy with the packing and once again leave you all hanging for a week (or so). If I get a chance and have internet access I'll do my best to post something, if nothing else, at least pictures. Please be praying for us and for a safe and easy flight(s) tomorrow and saturday the 31st when we return.

Hope you all have a wonderful week (at work) while we are relaxing with our hot chocolate, fire and amazing views. I'll be thinking of you all (or not) while we're away.... wishing you were with me (not really) haha! =)

Until tomorrow...

2009-01-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

I am officially fired from being a blogger!! At least if I was you, I'd fire me. Sheesh... I'm terrible. I can't believe it's been WEEKS since I've posted. So much has happened, how could I not have posted SOMETHING?? Even just a picture... man, I'm the worst.

To make things worse, tomorrow is my little man's 5th (yes, you read that right... FIFTH) birthday!! I think I'm trying to accidentally forget that tomorrow is the 7th. I don't want Hank to be five. I'm not old enough to have a five year old. (haha) I'm so not prepared to watch him do all the things a five year old will do. Start BIG school (as he calls it) is the part I think I'm dreading the most. Once that happens it's over. I'm no longer needed. He will spend more time there than at home (well awake anyway). I'm just not liking this growing up business AT ALL. Could someone please tell me how to make it STOP!!!!!!

Hank on the other hand is already planning on turning 6.... on saturday. He has it in his head that because tomorrow is his ACTUAL birthday and they are having a "party" at school that he will turn 5 there.... then on saturday when we have his party for him, he will turn 6. Hmm... I'd be like 50 right now if that was the case.... Thank goodness it's not!!! ha

Anyway.... either way, five, six, seven.... I don't want him to get any older. Sure I have my moments where I think "man I can't wait for this kid to go to school" but in all honesty, I am gonna miss having him around all the time. We have so much fun together. He keeps things fun and interesting everyday. There is never a dull moment in our house and there is never a day that goes by that I don't get asked something that I can't even answer because I'm laughing too hard. You guys wouldn't believe me if I told you even half of the things that come out of that little guys mouth!

For now, Hank is still four. He is still my baby, even tho I have another baby. For a few more hours, he is still a little boy and not so much of a big boy. He is still a toddler and not a child. To me, he will always be my little man.... to him, he will always be bigger than he is. This kid, I swear, he has no idea that he is the smallest in his class. He has no idea that just because a kid is taller than you that he can be younger than you. He never lets his size get in his way. He is by far one of the best in his karate class (which he moved to the advanced class since getting his CAMO belt and I could not be more proud!!) He is such an inspiration in my life. I know people say children are innocent and they know no bad or wrong.... and I truly believe that, but seriously, my guy really inspires me to be a better person. He sees the good when I see the bad. He sees the light when all I see is darkness. He sees the upside when I see the down. I'm not really a pessimist, but in the rare occassion I am, Hank can always make me see the optimistic side of whatever situation we're in. I love my little man more than he will ever know or understand (at least not until he is grown and has kids of his own, but that will never happen because he is staying FOUR forever!!).

So until tomorrow, I will not cry. I will not be sad that he is growing up.... I will be happy that he is still my "baby" and still wants to kiss me goodbye, even in front of all his friends. He still needs my help at times and he still wants to curl up in my lap and spend quality time with his momma. He still loves me and hasn't learned what the meaning of the word HATE is yet (lets pray he never does!) He still looks up to me and thinks I (and his father) know best and he still listens (well, sometimes!!) to what we have to say. Until tomorrow, Hank is still four. He has not crossed over to the "child" side of my mind and until tomorrow, I will still see him as the little 5lb 12.5 oz little baby he was the very day he was born. He is my first born... my little man.... my baby.... always.

Lil' Bits of Life

2008-12-09T12:49:00.001-08:00

Ok guys...

The biggest change going on in my own life right now is this:

http://lilbitsoflife.blogspot.com/

It's just the beginning and I have much work that needs to be done, but I couldn't keep it a secret any longer. I'm so excited to share my new blog with you all and hope you all will join me in this new venture I'm starting and pass the name on to everyone you know.

Thank you for all your support for those that knew about this and I pray this new blog will be everything I've been dreaming it will be....

So please, check it out and let me know what you think!

My apologies!!

2008-12-08T10:07:00.000-08:00

I'm so sorry guys I've been gone so long. Things have been a little crazy in the Hulett House the past month. With all the holidays and birthdays around this time of year, I feel like I'm going more than I'm coming most days. It will slow down.... eventually.

Anyway.... there are lots of things going on around here, and I'll be posting about some of those things soon, but until then, here are some recent pictures to show off.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and had much to be thankful for... I know we did and do!

Prayers for a child with "two mothers"

2008-11-18T10:51:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone... please be praying for this beautiful family. Their story is so wonderful and such an amazing story to read. They have been on a very long and tough road towards adopting their second child, a baby girl. The little girl was born on friday and they immediately fell in love and starting feeling as if their prayers were finally being answered. All weekend they have spent hours upon hours with this precious baby and have grown to love her as their daughter. The birth mother and baby were released yesterday from the hospital and now there have been many changes. The birth mother was going to sign over her rights yesterday, but is having second thoughts. Things are still up in the air and their hearts are breaking.

Please, beg God to help this birth mother to make her decision quickly, but also for her to be at peace with whatever she decides. Please ask Him to give Adrienne and Jim and their son Owen some kind of understanding and heal their hearts completely. Please God be with this baby girl and both families in this joyous and heartbreaking time. Inevitably, one of these women is going to lose their "daughter" and that pain, I can only try to imagine, would be unbearable. Please be with both of them and help them to see clearly and do what is in the best intrest of this angel of yours.

Go read their story for yourself.... Another Ordinary Miracle

Halloween Recap

2008-11-07T08:54:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from Halloween '08

Optimus Prime (the animated version.... he was very clear when telling people this!) and The Hulk

Mommy and her baby

Jace and our neighbor Jackson

I've decided...

2008-11-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

I've decided....
to be a better mom and wife.
I've decided....
to be a better, more understanding friend.
I've decided....
to love myself more for who I am rather than what I look like.
I've decided....
I deserve to accomplish my goals I set for myself a long time ago.
I've decided...
to follow my heart.
I've decided....
to put my trust in the Lord wholeheartedly without questioning Him.
I've decided...
I will survive whatever life deals me.
I've decided....
there is more to life than what I can offer myself and must be open to what life has in store for me.
I've decided....
to love myself unconditionally and allow others to love me just the same.
I've decided....
today is the day for change.
I've decided....
I'm going to wake up with a new attitude and change the world....

Just you wait and see. One of these days, my DECISIONS will make this world know my name.... I've decided now is the time for me to show the world what I'm made of. =)

How do you like me now? =)

A memorable day in history needs a little prayer

2008-11-05T08:02:00.000-08:00

I truly believe the only way to handle the new outcome is thru the power of prayer and the understanding that God is in control and this is how I'm choosing to deal with the changes that will be happening. He is my saviour and I believe He will do right by us all and above all else, HE is the leader. He is who I support. He is who ultimately makes the decisions and that, I am at peace with.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with HimForever in the next. Amen."

(UN)Censored

2008-10-29T07:20:00.000-07:00

I have officially corrupted my 4 year old.

I have always loved to listen to the radio in the car. As loud as I want and jamming to whatever songs I like at the moment. Never realizing that my son would possibly understand or remember what the words were to whatever song might be playing... until now.

I thought I'd share with you some of Hank's favorite things to walk around saying these days.... things he has picked up from music or movies... some of which a 4 year old should not be saying, but it's so darn cute you don't want to tell him not to. ha.

From Pink:

-- I'm still a rock star, I got my rock moves

-- I wanna start a fight!

From Pussycat Dolls:

--When I grow up, I wanna be famous (thank goodness he doesn't understand the "I wanna have boobies" line)

From Sugarland:

--All I wanna dooOooOOoo (this isn't the best thing for a boy to sing)

From Rodney Atkins:

--With a happy meal in his booster seat (cuz it's like him he tells me!!)

From Baha Men:

--Who let the dogs out? (we have this dog that sings and dances this song)

The best part is our neighbor has this ford f-150 motorized truck that they ride around in the cul-de-sac in and it has a real life radio in it, so they turn it to rap music and start dancing. It's hilarious.... occassionally we find it on tejano or classical.... which is quite intertesting as well.

Now, from the movies

Chipmunks:

-- Mayday! Mayday!
-- Dave likes to wear, dirty underwear!
-- Chick-a-wow-wow Chick-a-wow-wow
-- Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
-- You look hot girl!
-- Won't you take me to funky town?
(he also does the dance moves!)

Transformers:

-- Are you feelin lucky, punk?
-- I just wanna show him my cannons (as he holds out his arms and shows his "muscles" instead of guns)
-- this looks like a cool place to kick it!
-- Oopps! My bad!
-- Are you ladies man 217?
-- You wanna piece of me?
-- Autobots. Transform and Roll out!

Hank can tell you exactly what part of the movie these lines come from as well. It absolutely cracks me up. He knows much more from other movies, but these are the most common. I just wanted to share and give everyone a good laugh for the day. Just imagine a tiny 4 year old saying "you wanna a piece of me?" to his grandma..... what a wonderful feeling to show my in-laws what I teach my son.... lol!!

Halloween Candy RECALL!!!

2008-10-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone... THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT --

you can verify this on snopes:
http://www.snopes.com/food/warnings/coins.asp

There is a new warning put out by the Canadian Food Inspection Agency....Sherwood brand Pirate's Gold Milk Chocolate coins are beingrecalled due to the fact that they contain Melamine, theingredient in milk product that has caused many infant deathsin china. These candies are sold at Costco, as well as manybulk and dollar stores. please make sure to check yourchildrens halloween candy and DO NOT LET THEM EAT THE PIRATECOINS (you know the ones wrapped in the shiny gold foil) and please let other parents know about this!

Only boys say "Holy Crap!"

2008-10-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

So yesterday morning started out a little something like this....

5 am - awake for no reason
5:45 - still awake... shay leaves for work
6:20 am -hank enters my room and wants to watch cartoons
7 am - i decide to shower because trying to sleep with a 4 year old questioning everything isn't working so well
7:15 am - I hear "HOLY CRAP".... coming from my sweet, innocent, perfect angel of a childs mouth

So what do I do?

Bust out laughing of course!!!

Then, after laughing (where of course Hank can't see me because if he did he would continue to repeat himself thinking he did/said something funny and well, that's not appropriate or the way to raise a child, right?) I proceed to walk into the room and ask the ineveitable and the conversation went something like this:

me- "what did you just say?"

Hank- "what you said?" (yes it's said exactaly how you read it)

me - "what did you just say?"

Hank- "holy crap! the bird feeder is broken!!"

me- "excuse me?"

Hank- "holy crap!" (ok so I set myself up for that one)

me - "we do not say that word! that is a bad word and you know better."

Hank - "well mom, holy isn't a bad word!"

me (trying not to smile/laugh) - "no Hank, the other word. we don't say that. just like you aren't allowed to say stupid, you can't say the other word either. where did you learn that anyway"

Hank - "at school" (ah, the beautiful side of school!)

me - "well we don't say bad things like that. that's not what nice little boys say"

Hank - "i know dat. but mom, boys can say dat. girls can't"

me - "no Hank they can't. that's an adult word and we don't say it, ever, for any reason."

Hank - "i know. but only boys can say holy crap" not girls and you're a girl mom"

me - "listen, if you say it again, you will get your mouth washed out with soap. Do you like that idea?"

Hank - "no!"

me - "good. glad to see you understand me and by the way, mommy can say whatever she wants."

Hank (as he is walking off) - "whattteverrr!"

Great..... gotta love getting the whatever after an important lesson has just been taught. Makes me feel like I'm doing a damn good job at this parenting thing....

or maybe not.

Seriously?!?!?

2008-10-22T08:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this is random, but it's something that bugs me.

So I recorded the show 17 kids and counting about The Duggar family. I know you guys have to know who they are. They have 17 kids and she is pregnant with her 18th and has no plans to stop unless she is unable to have anymore. That is just weird in itself.... but that's not even what bugs me.

The oldest, Josh, he is 20.... and just got engaged. Ok, normal.... or not. I get that people have the right to raise their children how they want and I'm not judging them, but this is just bizarre to me.... instead of dating people, they court. Ok, so I've heard of that before, like back in the 1800's or something, but they literally don't date, at all. Pretty much he met this girl at some camp or something and they said hi (they live in different states) and he started courting her. I believe they call each other on the phone (I'm sure he only calls her because it's probably not appropriate for her to call a boy lol) and 2 years later he asks her to marry him. Ummmm one more thing, they have never even held hands.

Does anyone else find this a little odd? I mean seriously, I get his point when he says that he chose to not date around because when you do that you give a little piece of your heart away each time and he wanted to save his whole heart for the one he would marry.... aw how sweet! But isn't it a little weird to decide to marry someone you've never even touched? He had to ask permission from her father to hold her hand. They do not kiss until the wedding day. Sheesh!! What happens if you hate it? lol....

Ok so, I'm just a little confused or whatever about this. Maybe I'm totally off and maybe some people can do this, but I find it crazy to think of people getting married that have never lived together before because well any of us that are married know how hard adjusting to living together can be in the beginning.... much less if you've never touched the person, kissed the person and you want babies immediately!! AHHHH that just scares me....

Anyone else agree? Did anyone else see this show?

Wedding Bells

2008-10-22T07:57:00.000-07:00

So it's been a long time now, but I wanted to quickly blog about Aimee's wedding. It was beautiful and everything she could have imagined. I feel so blessed to be able to have been a part of her special day and I wish her and Manny all the best in their marriage. I love you Aims.

Introducing....

Mr. and Mrs. Manny Torres

The First Dance!

The night is over...

Us girlies.... Candace, Aimee, Me and Erin

MY NEPHEW IS HERE!!!

2008-10-01T15:49:00.000-07:00

CAMERON RYAN CONWAY JR. is here!!!!

My ONLY nephew was born Saturday, September 27, 2008 at 2:05 am.

7lbs 14oz 20.5 inches long.

Healthy and BEAUTIFUL and looks just like his daddy.

Sarah (my sister in law) did great and baby Cameron is doing wonderful. The new family of FOUR is home and enjoying their first few days together as a family. Caitlin is so proud to be a big sister and everyone is so in love with baby C. He's so adorable and I'm over the moon to finally have a NEPHEW (even tho I have two boys of my own).

I wanted to share the wonderful news and post some pictures of how cute he is..... Don't you agree???

Walkin' Talkin' Monster of ours!

2008-10-01T15:09:00.001-07:00

He Walks! He Talks!! He Attacks!!!

Yes, it's official. We have a walking, talking attack child on the loose! Jace has been renamed 'monster' in our house because he walks around with his arms straight out as he races twards you groaning/screaming "ahhhhh" and then proceeds to attack you. Which could be head but you, bite you or just claw you while climbing on you as high as he can get. I'm not quite sure where he learned this, but it seems to be one of his latest things.

Jace is so much fun now. Not that he wasn't before, but now that he is walking, he is of course, trying to run. He wants to do everything big brother does (which isn't new) but now, he pretty much can.... or at least he can ruin what big brother does, such as tear down his lego tower, knock out his "armies" (army men) in one bash, tear up his books, attack his blanket and bite it so hard you can't get it out of his mouth.... the list goes on. Luckily for the most part, Hank is pretty understanding. He has his moments, but he's learning there isn't much you can do about it. Jace is a baby...scratch that...monster and there is no stopping him.

He is also "talking" if you want to call it that. Sure, the dr asked at his 15 month check up what words he's saying other than mama and dada and I had answers, but could she understand that was what he was saying? I doubt it. Shoes is more like shhuuus. This is diss. That is dat. Bubba is baba. bye bye is bi. hi is bi. (yes they are pretty much the same thing ha). We know what he means, but even others with kiddos probably couldn't figure out his mandarin chinese language he speaks. But yes, to answer the dr's question, he speaks.... and screams, and yells, and squeals and sqwaks, and screams... did I say that already? Did I mention the kid squeals like a girl? I mean high pitch ear piercing squeal! It's probably one of the worst things I've ever heard and he does it.... A LOT! But yes, he speaks.

The cutest thing he does lately is when Shay gets home and he hears that door open (and little man bark) he screams "dada" and bolts in high gear to the door (or the gate if we are upstairs). It's the sweetest things, yet all Shay wants to do is put down his breifcase and wash his hands before he picks him up, because once he holds him, there is no putting him down. Seriously folks, when Shay is home, I swear it looks like Jace is a growth coming off his hip. He will not, for any reason, allow Shay to put him down. He just attaches to him like a velcro ball to a velcro mit. I feel bad for Shay, but what can I do? When daddy is home, I'm nothing to the boys. Who cares what mommy wants/says.... I'm the "bad cop" who says no, tells them it's bed time and doesn't allow them to rough house. Plus when Shay isn't around, I become the velcro mit, so not much sympathy here.

Jace's other favorite thing, to climb. He can climg the slide to the fort. He can climb the ladder to the fort. He can climb the small ladder to the monkey bars (which he can't reach so this is a "danger zone" in the backyard). He climbs on the tables and chairs. He climbs on the desk chair to get to the computer. He climbs on the bed. He would probably climb out of his bed if he was in it long enough to figure it out. He has become a very good sleeper, so he pretty much goes straight to sleep without wanting out lately. (THANK GOODNESS!!) But I'm sure I'll be eating my words tomorrow when he shows me that this too he has figured out. We bought the swing set, yes...sadly to say, to be somewhat of a "babysitter" so to speak (go ahead, think what you want, call me a bad mom....but when you have two wild animals...ooppss....boys, you will understand where I'm coming from) .... at least for a few minutes, but it has in turn turned out to be the hardest part of my daily life because Jace can not be left alone in the backyard for .2 seconds before he is up in the fort hanging over the open side where the rock wall is. It's seriously the worst idea I've ever had.... and I'm kicking myself for it everyday. Well not really, but I'm not liking the idea at the moment. Ask me next summer and I might feel differently.

Anyway, we now have what most call a "toddler" and not really a baby anymore. Kind of sad actually. Of course it's nice, because he's starting to become more independant, but it's hard on me. This might be my last "toddler" stage I'll ever go thru (which could be a good thing), but it breaks my heart because it's going by way to fast. The more I think about it, I realize Hank will FIVE in Jan.... only 3 months away.... which means Jace will be TWO 5 months after that. Seriously?!? When? How did that happen? I swear I feel like I was just posting that he was born... I'm not so sure I like this.... at all.....

Or maybe I do? Maybe I like the fact that I will soon have some free days to myself again? Or then again, maybe not.....

Note to self: never plan a bridal shower during Hurricane season!

2008-10-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

So the weekend of Ike was supposed to be my best friend Aimee's bridal shower.... yeah well, for obvious reasons (since the shower was in pasadena) it didn't happen. Unfortunately we had to postpone. We thought it might even have to take place after the wedding (which is THIS WEEKEND!!) but we were lucky enough to figure out a way to have it this past weekend and it was wonderful, despite all the dates being wrong on everything haha. Hey.... it will make for good laughs eventually. =)

Anyway, so we, Sherie (Aimee's sister), Candace (Aimee's other best friend) and I threw Aimee her bridal shower at this Tea Room in Pasadena. It was small and simple, just like Aimee. She is the kind of girl that likes things personal and easy, unlike me who wants the "big to do" and bling of course. =) Maybe that's why we're best friends.... we have this balance between us. ha.

I was so happy to be a part of it all and share in such a special day with someone so dear to me. I was even more happy to see her so happy and excited about what is to come this weekend. She is such a beautiful and loving person and for as long as I've known her she has deserved all of this. Someone to love her and take care of her. Someone to support her and understand her. Someone to stand beside her thru everything. If anyone in this world deserves to be happy, it's Aimee'. She is truly the most kind hearted, selfless person I have ever met in my whole life. She's more forgiving than anyone I've ever known. She's understanding, non-judgemental and compassionate. She's loving, caring and such an easy going person, I don't know what I'd do without her in my life. She seriously keeps me sane. =) Her fiance' Manny is one lucky man and if he ever takes that for granted, he'll have a line of people waiting to kick his @$$ for it. (take that as a warning Manny!!) lol.

In all honesty tho, she truly is an incredible person and an amazing friend. I feel so blessed to have her in my life and even more special that she wants me to be standing there beside her on such a special day in her life. I feel so honored to be sharing her perfect day with her. I can't wait until saturday, October 4!!!

So Aimee, here's to you. Here's to a long and happy love. To a wonderful and beautiful life filled with more good days than bad, more happy times than sad and more love than you know what to do with. I pray for you to find the peace you deserve and the comfort you need to complete your world. You are the best friend anyone could ever ask for and all I could ever wish for for you is to be truly happy.... and I know you are. Congratulations bestest.... I love you!!

Here are a few pics from the shower.....

P.S. At the shower everyone was asked to fill out advice cards for Aimee and Manny. Of course, I couldn't think of much to write at the time, but after taking some time to think about it, I came up with a few things I think she (they) should keep in mind.

- Never go to bed angry.

- Always say you're sorry and MEAN IT!

- Forgive the other and yourself for things you might have said or done.

- Try to put yourself in the others shoes.

- Be patient.

- Love each other, no matter what.

- Be true to who you are. They fell in love with YOU for a reason.

- Talk... Talk... Talk... Communication is key.

- PICK YOUR BATTLES!

I'm sure I have more, but right now that's what I can think of.... Please feel free to post a comment and leave your advice for Aimee, or any of us that are married! =)

Thanks Ike!

2008-09-30T15:49:00.000-07:00

Well backing up to Hurricane Ike, I'm so thankful to say all of my friends and families surrived without major damage. Sadly tho, my best friend Aimee's dad is still without power. How awful is that? Again, thankfully he wedding is still on for this weekend...woo hoo!! That's another post tho.

So anyway, another reason I was thankful for Ike was that it brought my "sista" here to see me and my neice (that I had yet to meet since she was born in May)!! Lindsay and baby Adalynn came to stay with us over the weekend while Ike was possibly tearing apart their house (which he didn't!!) Chad (Lindsay's husband) is a police officer and was working all weekend thru the storm, so instead of being home alone, she came here where it was safe and she had power and food! haha. So if nothing else good came of Ike, at least he brought me my friend!!

The boys loved Adalynn, although Jace isn't the most gentle little boy around, so we had to keep a close eye on him with the baby. That was his first time around a baby younger than him.... I think he was a little jealous to not be the littlest around. ha.

(Lindsay and I decided this will be perfect for their slideshow before their wedding!)

Orange Belt

2008-09-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

Ok Ok I know.... I haven't posted in over a month.... shoot me! Seriously, I haven't had time to even think about blogging with everything we've had going on. We haven't had one free weekend since middle of august and it's not slowing down in the next few weeks.

But anyway... I have many updates to blog about, so I'll probably do short and sweet posts for the next couple, but hey, at least I'm doing something, right?

So.... on to it.

Hank is officially an Orange Belt in Karate now. He got his next belt back in August and he did great at testing. He kicked some serious butt.... including taking out a much bigger kid and knocking him flat on his booty. =-) That's my boy!!

Check him out!

Bling Bling... Look at my new RING! =) (updated)

2008-08-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

Update: (new pics!)

Happy FIVE year anniversary to me!

This is my new right hand ring -- It's a very light green amethyst (a lot lighter in person than the picture...it almost looks like a diamond at times because it's so light) surrounded by diamonds. I LOVE it!!!

I'll post a better picture later today or tomorrow when I get it back (it's being sized).

I was SUPER SURPRISED when I got to go jewelry shopping and pick out what I wanted....hehe!! Every girls dream =) Isn't my husband the best??

I also got these...

(again, will post a better picture later)

Me and You -- Five years today

2008-08-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

It's here. Our anniversary is actually here. I remember last year thinking "wow, next year we'll be celebrating our FIVE year anniversary" and being so surprised to know it was that close and wondering how in the heck did that happen?!? Now I'm shocked it is finally that day.

Wow... five years. Of course to some it doesn't seem like much, but to me, it's a lifetime. A new lifetime. When I met Shay (over 6 years ago) it didn't take me long to know he was "the one." It took him a little longer to come around. ;) Either way, I knew one day I'd marry this man. Little did I know 14 months and 11 days after we started dating that day would come.

August 23, 2003. Never in a million years did I think I'd be married at 20 years old. Of course, growing up I always said I wanted to marry young and have babies young, but not 20. More like, well, now. Married at 25.... ha! I've got 5 on it!! (ok sorry, I had to do it.)

No matter what age I was, or how many years ago it was that I said "I do" I have never regretted it. Not one second. Not in the bad times, especially not the good times. I've never doubted, this where I'm supposed to be. Of course, I've questioned how did I get here? How did my life turn into this? (not in a bad way) but wondering where the time has gone? How did we get from point A to point B and where did all the time go inbetween. I feel like it has flown by so quickly, I almost forgot to remember.

Remember the little things. What he/I was wearing when he proposed. My actual wedding day and all the things I did to get ready. Sometimes I try so hard to remember something and when I can't it makes me feel like I've failed. Failed at keeping our "love story" alive. But then, out of no where I remember way back when and something else pops back into my mind.

Like our wedding night and we got to the hotel after the limo dropped us off and we checked in, exhausted and STARVING!! We went to our room and realized we didn't have a car. Room service was closed and there were no vending machines. We were so hungry, but I think we were too tired to care, and I had to pee so bad and couldnt get my petty coat untied fast enough, I said forget it and lifted that sucker up. Yeah that was a great photo opportunity. ;)

I remember going to the DMV and changing my last name on my drivers license. Yes, for those of you that know me, know that is something I dread. I not only hate going to get my license redone (because face it, who likes that?) but I have this overwhelming craziness about me that hates to talk to "strangers" or do something that I'm not 100% comfortable with. I hate for people to look or talk to me like I'm stupid. Pretty much my axiety is out of control. I start sweating when I have to order a pizza over the phone. (dead serious people!)

I remember when my first friend got married after I did and being so happy to finally have a friend "like me." (Thanks Steph! haha) Shay had a few friends get married after us and I was friends with their wives, but it was nice to finally have someone that I knew, that was young like me, get married and be a part of this new adventure with me. It was scary and exciting and sometimes, I felt so alone because no one else knew what it was like to be in my shoes. (ha, but they all know now -- or will soon, right Aims?!?!)

There are so many memories we have made in the last five years. So many memories I may not always be able to recall, some I may forget all together, but no matter what, they are ours. We made them. Together. As a couple. As a family and they are ours.

The past fives years have been beautiful, tough, messy, wonderful, exciting, challenging, comforting, scary, amazing, etc. But I would never take the good without the bad. I wouldn't trade one second of all we have created together for anything in world. I wouldn't give it back or rewind time. We have grown together. Changed together. Made a life together. We have created our world. Our family. Our memories.

These are the days. These are the moments. Right now. Right here. This is what life is about. The everyday things we do to show each other how much we love and appreciate one another. The things no one else would notice. He brings home pizza when I'm about to pull out my hair just to make my night a little easier. I vaccuum just about everyday so his allergies (from the dog) don't kill him the second he walks in the door. He gets the boys breakfast in the mornings so I can stay in bed an extra 5 minutes. I make his lunch so he won't starve all day (cuz he would skip lunch all together otherwise!). It's the little things that mean the most. At least to me it is.

He can tell me he loves me all day long. I know he means it and I love to hear it, but when he takes the boys outside and tells me take a nap or makes sure the trash is out so I don't have to do it.... those things matter to me. Maybe that's what matters most the longer you're married. You no longer get excited about getting flowers or a night out to some fancy restaurant, you get excited to get a peaceful shower and 15 minutes to put your makeup on without a kid asking for something. You enjoy those moments together that you rarely get, a little bit more because sadly, they are few and far between.

All I really know is I still feel as blessed and happy as I did the day I married Shay. I feel like the "luckiest" girl in the world to have HIM as my husband. I wonder what in the world I did to deserve a man like him, but even if I think I don't deserve it, I take it and shut my mouth!! ha. I wouldn't want him to start thinking twice (lol!)

To five years. To five years more. To a love so true and a family so wonderful. To my husband. My best friend. My rock. My soulmate. My love. To you shay.... I love you yesterday, today and tomorrow and I will love you all the years of our lives. Thank you for the past five years together and thank you for the years yet to come. "These are the days we will remember...for the rest of your lives..."

I pray you will always know my love for you is bigger than anything that tries to break it. We have been thru it all and in the end, we always find our way back to where we belong.... in each others arms in love so deep there is no way out. I love you husband... MORE!

P.S.

2008-08-22T15:50:00.000-07:00

Hank's blood work came back great.

Remember a little over a month ago Hank had to be revaccinated for two of the vaccines that never worked when he was a baby? He had only 1 antibody out of 12 for one and none of the other 7 for the other. Well now he has 12 out of 14 (which is a normal range) and is also in the normal range for the other.

Thank you for your prayers for him and us during all of this. We are so thankful to have so many good people on our side and love our children almost as much as we do. =)

Four Boyfriends: Something worth reading.

2008-08-22T07:33:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends.

She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.

The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, will I be a alone.'

Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word.
His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, w ill you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold.

She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second bofriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter wher e you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives:

Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.

Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others.

Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.

Please Vote!!

2008-08-14T09:38:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone!! Please go and vote for Jace!!! Pass this link on to everyone you know! =) Thank you!

https://www.greatamericanphotocontest.com/voter1/index.aspx?referid=EmailFriends&p=699635&x=.JPG

I am no exception

2008-08-13T14:55:00.000-07:00

Well my friends, I have officially claimed the worst accidental injury of the year award. I might as well go ahead and accept the stupidest woman of the year award with it.

Let me explain...

Monday I was washing dishes (our dishwasher is out of service, so I'm doing it the old fashioned way... and let me tell you, I have a new found respect for all the women who did this before dishwashers were around... I SO took advantage of the "luxuries" in life before now) and as I always do, I start with the glasses. I grabbed one (without looking, because this has become habit by now) and started to clean the rim of it. Well, little did I know it was cracked. Of course it is.... so what do ya know, it breaks in the process of taking out a chunk of skin so deep you can see my muscle and small veins. Yes people, I'm serious, my right thumb is missing almost a dime sized chunk (not a slice, a whole chunk, for lack of better description words) of skin! How it happened, I have not a clue... all I know is I felt something stab me, I looked down to see a missing part of my thumb knuckle (sort of) and yet, no blood.... until about a split second later! Yeah then there was nothing BUT blood. Getting a visual yet? Good.... cuz you deserve to be grossed out too. =)

So I screamed and used a few words I'm not going to repeat and carefully grabbed a towel, wrapped my hand, picked up Jace and walked out the front door to my neighbors house across the street(let me explain to you what I was wearing...or lack of... I have on a tank top that I wore to take Hank to school in and shorts i wear around the house INSIDE only and yeah, no bra...did I care? At that moment...not so much!) She used to be a nurse, so of course, she would know what to do. This was deep.... it was something I've never seen before. All I knew was I saw small red/purple looking lines (veins) and knew that couldn't be good. She thankfully was able to help bandage it up for me to get to the store to get the needed supplies to bandage it better.

It took two days for it to stop bleeding, each time removing the bandage it would sting so bad it made me cry. I've never felt pain like that (and I've had two kids!) It was truly the worst thing I've felt in a long time, if not ever!! Thankfully, it has stopped bleeding and I can actually use my thumb more than I have been able to since monday. But sadly, my right hand is out of commission at the moment. I can not get it wet or grip many things. Brushing my hair and my teeth is a task and putting my hair in a pony tail is somewhat of a challenge. Try going to the bathroom and unbuttoning and rebuttoning your jeans/pants with your non-dominant hand. It's not enjoyable what so ever. Or chasing down a naked baby to put his diaper on and doing that one handed.

So my blog readers (all 3 of you) I have a challenge for you. Use your non dominant hand ONLY and try those things. Brushing your teeth and your hair. Using your straightner and blowdryer while using a round brush. Try washing your face or washing your hair without getting the other hand wet. Let me know how bad it sucks! Give me your pointers on what works best, because this hand is gonna be of no use for quite some time I'm afraid. I'm offically, ONE handed!

I now have much more respect for those that are truly missing a hand or arm or foot or leg. I can not imagine the challenges those people have to face on a daily basis. What takes us 5 minutes to do can take 30 minutes for others. It's really sad to think about what all we (at least I) take for granted because it's just "here" and normal. I guess in a way, I've taken my good health for granted as well. That scares me. It scares me because it makes me feel "selfish" and undeserving of it. I now realize and understand that I should treat myself better. Yes, this was an accident, but look how easily something this "simple" can happen. I am so thankful to have two hands and two feet. To have my legs that I can walk on and hands that I can write with. How blessed am I to have these "conviences" in life? I will never take my life for granted anymore. I know, especially all thats happened to people I know in the past year, 2 weeks even, that life is short and bad things happen to good people, and I am no exception.

As for my hand.... It will recover, but for now, I'm learning how to do things differently for once.

Mohawk Man

2008-08-13T14:48:00.000-07:00

Check it out DUDE! =)

The loss of a father.... prayers needed.

2008-08-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. I would like to ask you all to be praying for two people and their families.

My neighbor, Kathee (I posted about her dad in a previous post) lost her father last week. Please be praying for her, her son, Jake, her mom and her brother, Matt. They all need all the prayers they can get at this time. They are holding up well and slowly but surely getting thru each day. Please ask for strength, courage and the wisdom to know where to go and how to start over from here. Kathee is a wonderful person and a great friend and it's hard to see someone you care about suffer. She is strong and I know she knows she is... it's just a matter of learning to cope, but like she said, she is taking it one day at a time and going with whatever she is feeling at the moment. Please pray she continues to handle her feelings and emotions well and can find the peace she needs to accept all that is happening.

I also would like to ask you to pray for a friend, Amanda Kaufmann, who also lost her dad. He passed away Saturday, August 9. Please be praying for her and her husband, Cody, and their two kids, Cade and Chloe, as well as Amanda's brother, Aaron, and the rest of her family at this time. She wrote a beautiful post on her blog about her dad and I think it really captured the work of God in people. Her faith really shows what a beautiful person she is. Please read it (her name is linked above) and be praying for the peace and understanding, as well as strength and courage they all need at this time.

My mind has left me

2008-07-31T19:11:00.000-07:00

Well it's official. It's August (actually in the morning it will be) and that means only 23 days until my 5... yes, FIVE year anniversary. I can't believe it. Somedays I think I've been married a million and others I feel like it was just yesterday (minus two kids and all!) Either way, we will be celebrating our five year anniversary on August 23rd and I have a huge problem..... for the first time (probably ever in my life) I can not, for the life of me, figure out what to do/get for Shay.

Any of you that know me know I'm the "go to" person when it comes to good gift ideas. I always know exactly what to get anyone for any reason, except now. Maybe it's because I've done it all already, or maybe it's because my mind is on overload these days. I tell my mom all the time I only have half a brain left most days and she of course says, "well be thankful for that, cuz mine left a long time ago!" =) So I am starting to believe the right side of my brain has sadly left me, and well the left side, it's always been pretty useless to me anyway... so that pretty much leaves me SOL.

Well, at least maybe now I can join all the other "idiots" in the world and have someone else do everything for me for a change. Ok sorry, that might sound harsher than I meant it.... or not.

So back to the point of this blog.... I need ideas. I've done the golf stuff, the surprise stuff, the personal/meaningful stuff. Sheesh.... I've surprised the man with getting to drive a race car before. There isn't much I HAVEN'T done yet.... so I need someone else to do my thinking for me. =) So Steph.... get to thinking about good ideas. You plan parties for a living, you're bound to be able to figure out a gift!! hehe.

Hi Yah!

2008-07-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hanks new favorite sport... Karate!

Hank started Taekwondo 2 weeks ago and he is loving every second of it. He is learning so much and picks up every new move right away. He loves to break boards, kick/hit the bags and for once in his life, he is LISTENING and doing what he is told!! ha. What mother could ask for more? =)

As for our wild child, he is growing like a weed and changing everyday. He thinks he's as big as his brother and wants to do everything he does. That's probably why/how he learned how to climb ALL the way up the slide on the swing set. Yes, he is a monkey. He climbs and stands on everything and has absolutely no fear. He is our very own Evil Kenivel and instead of riding on his 4-wheeler, he climbs and stands on it. Thank goodness it only moves if you pedal with your feet otherwise he might be doing tricks on it already.

Oh and did I mention Jace likes dirt?!?

He likes to eat the dirt... A LOT!

This about sums it up

2008-07-23T12:27:00.000-07:00

What's in a name?

2008-07-17T13:32:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, when we first found out we were having Hank, Shay insisted his name would be Hank and I told him no. Actually, I believe "hell no" were my exact words. We see who won that battle.....

Now, I look at him and think that there is no better name for that kid. No "normal" name would have ever fit him or his personality. It's funny to me that before he was born I never looked up the meaning behind Henry/Hank (which means RULER OF THE HOUSE and other variations). Of course, after the fact I read this and that's when it hit me. Shay was actually right (for once, haha kidding!) He picked the perfect name for him. It fit him like no other name ever could and well, he is without a doubt, the ruler of the Hulett House. =)

So again, when we picked (I should say, I picked) Jace's name, I didn't look up the meaning behind it either. I had seen the name in a baby book when I was pregnant with Hank, but never thought anything of it. We didn't pick Jace from a book. It's a combination of Shay's brothers names and both of his grandfathers name.... James (Garrett) and Pace (Dustin) -- J from James and ACE from Pace (in case you couldn't figure that out on your own.) His name means Healer in Greek and Moon in American. I'm not sure how "moon" fits him, but healer, I truly believe does. Jace is all smiles (99% of the time). He can make your worst day seem like the best just by looking at you with his big blue eyes and big ole smile.

Over at babyzone they have this baby name advisor tool you can use to find out what your childs full name means or will mean for their future. I found it quite interesting. I guess before I never really thought about what someones name can do for/or to them. After reading it and seeing how right some (a lot actually) of it was, I'm convinced my children have just the right names for the person they are (and will one day be). I do not believe a name makes a person, yet a person makes the name.... I know my boys give both of their names GREAT MEANINGS! =)

Henry Ryan Hulett

Henry Ryan Hulett is a name that reflects analytical powers and a quest for knowledge and information, a search for truth and wisdom. (hmm, i believe he gets these traits from his father?!?)The name Henry Ryan Hulett makes one feel like one is in the company of greatness and unconventional intelligence. Inventive. Emotion takes a back seat to mental prowess.

The name Henry Ryan Hulett inspires study and research, open-mindedness, daring new concepts, and a devotion to discovering the unknown.

But the name Henry Ryan Hulett also gives a sense of philosophy and religious search. Here too, the path to seeking the meaning of the Divine is unconventional.

Henry Ryan Hulett's most positive characteristics: Intelligence, depth, spirituality. Always in search of knowledge.

Henry Ryan Hulett's most negative characteristics: Arrogant, self-centered, eccentric, introvert. (I beg to differ here. Hank is not introverted at all -- the kid never meets a stranger!)

Jace Louis Hulett

The name Jace Louis Hulett reflects drive, a pioneering spirit, leadership, independence and originality. The energy behind this name is strong and forceful and promotes an unconventional, innovative, and decisive approach. Highly focused and self-reliant, the name Jace Louis Hulett carries with it an unmistakable "can do" attitude. It reflects confidence, energy, strength and perseverance. There is a definite sense of danger and risk-taking as well. (this is the truth -- we have our own little Evil Knievel in the house)

The name Jace Louis Hulett does not inspire patience (sooooooo true!!) and sensitivity, and does not promote cooperation or a diplomatic approach to problem solving. Think of this name as a masculine, aggressive, creative force.

Jace Louis Hulett's most positive characteristics: Strength, originality, courage, imagination, creativity, confidence. Good for competitive, high-risk ventures.

Jace Louis Hulett's most negative characteristics: Pride, intolerance, excessive aggressiveness (again, this is where the Evil Knievel comes into play). Not good for people-oriented ventures or healing, counseling and retail businesses.

*~*~*~*~*~*

And just for fun, I did Shay and I as well. =)

Charles Shaffer Hulett

Powerful, a conqueror, devours the weak and rules the strong. The name Charles Shaffer Hulett reflects money and power. It is a carnivore, a winner at all cost.

Charles Shaffer Hulett has the power and potential to achieve great things. Whatever the enterprise, it strives to be the best and most successful in its field. (it hit the nail right on the head here!) Extremely competitive and not afraid of challenges or challengers. A visionary, a realist, and a planner. Discipline and perseverance. Dynamic and efficient.

Rewards the faithful and hardworking employee, but has no tolerance for the incompetent. (oh anyone that knows Shay, knows this to be the truth!!!)

Charles Shaffer Hulett understands the balance between giving and taking, generosity and greed. When it loses that balance, it self-destructs.

Charles Shaffer Hulett's most positive characteristics: Strength, perseverance, potential for greatness.

Charles Shaffer Hulett's most negative characteristics: Financial ups and downs. Lacks compassion. Can be self-destructive. (All of these couldn't be farther from the truth and anyone that knows Shay would agree)

(I did my name with Conway, since it was my "given birth name" instead of using my married name)

Marissa Nicole Conway

The name Marissa Nicole Conway promotes optimism, inspiration, and enthusiasm. It feels cheerful, outgoing, and charming. This name represents self-expression and communication skills. Its upward energy is a sign of tremendous creativity and all artistic endeavors are empowered by its vibration. The name Marissa Nicole Conway attracts just about everyone. It carries great public relation and communication skills, and an innate ability to charm the most cynical folks.

However, it lacks focus and discipline, can be a "happy-go-lucky spendthrift", and can give the impression of flightiness and instability.

Marissa Nicole Conway's most positive characteristics: Upbeat, creative, capable communicator, inspiring, uplifting. Has sense of humor, draws creative and passionate people.

Marissa Nicole Conway's most negative characteristics: Scattered energy, difficulty in finishing projects, unreliable. (I personally do not agree here, anyone else beg to differ?)

Long overdue

2008-07-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry everyone. I know this post is way late, but I'm doing the best I can with the little time I have on my hands.

So. First thing. Jace DOES NOT have Hirschsprung's Disease!! YAY for that!! I was so thrilled to hear this because the thought of my baby having to go through surgery and the recovery process was too much for me to handle. He does however have what I figured all along, functional constipation. Sadly, there isn't much we can do about it. Stool softners and all the little things we've been doing (more fruits/veggies, juice, baking soda baths, lots of fiber/whole grains, watch his "constipation" causing food intake, etc.) are really our only options. BUT.... as some of you know my mom works with her best friend who started a health drink called POGA MOONGA aka POGA. It is all natural and has seriously worked miracles in so many people, for so many different illnesses. So anyway as of monday I have started putting Poga in Jace's bottles. He's not much of a juice drinker and you can only give him so many pears, peaches, apples, prunes, etc. before he is done and won't eat it anymore. So anyway, he has been pooping just fine ever since!!! I was so reluctant to try it on him before now because I didn't know if something was seriously wrong with him, because if he had the Hirschsprung's Disease, stool softners or anything that helps you go to the bathroom makes the disease worse, so I did not want to be the cause for that. Now that I know he's cleared, I was all for trying it.... and it actually works!! He no longer cries or screams or turns red. It's amazing and I am so happy he is better. I'm actually starting The Poga Plan to lose these stubborn 10-15 lbs I have left to lose... but thats another post.=)

Second. Hank is doing well. He has a cold (I think) right now, but will get his vaccines as soon as he's well again. I want to brag on him a bit because I'm just amazed at how well he is doing at his new school. I am seriously shocked at how much he has learned and I must admit, it's not because of me working with him at home. He spells out everything now on whatever he sees. If I have something written on my shirt (such as the army shirt I was wearing earlier) he says "mom that is a-r-m-y" and askes me what that says. If you ask him "how do you spell cat/dog, etc." he will try to sound it out and spell it, all by himself!! I'm so proud of him. He spells his name and we are working on the last name, but he gets confused with the l and tt's and how many of each there are. ha. We will be driving home and he will point things out and tell me what they are, such as, pointing to a stop sign and saying "mom that stop sign is an octagon." Which, I have to look and count the sides because I'm thinking my mind it's a hexagon (see how smart I am? ha) He tells me that stop signs mean "stop, wait, and look" He tells me the people crossing sign is a pentagon and that means watch for people walking across the street. I didn't know this until I was driving (ok, not really, but you get my point!) I am just so happy he is doing so well in school, but even happier than he loves it so much!! It's truly the best decision I made to switch him to this school, even tho he had only been at his other school 4 months. I am very pleased with it and if anyone lives in San Antonio, I highly reccommend the school!!

Third thing. We are loving summer and we have big news (well to us!) Hank is no longer afraid of the water!!! YAY!!! Ok.... let me back up. A little over a year ago we were in Galveston (Hank was 3 1/2 and I was preggo with Jace) and Hank fell in the middle of the hot tub without floaties on. It scared him so bad (because he went under and didn't know what to do, even tho it was for no more than 2 seconds) since then he wouldn't get in any thing he couldn't touch the bottom. He would SCREAM if we tried to let go of him (with floaties on) in a big pool and just cry so hard, it seriously broke my heart everytime. Anyway... This past weekend we were in Arlington and on our way out of town sunday we went out to the Retreat in Cleburne and went swimming. After working with him in the baby pool/hot tub he realized he could put his head under water and hold his breath (he did this ON HIS OWN!) He also realized that his shark floatie made sure he didn't go under water. We could not get him to realize this.... but finally he did it and picked up his feet in the baby pool and floated and then it was to the big pool he went....

It was great to see him so proud of himself and for him to see how excited we all were for him. He won't stop talking about going to the pool this weekend and showing his "best bud Frankie" how he can swim like him!! =)

Jace on the other hand has no fear of water and would crawl right in if we would let him. Like I've said before, he is going to be our wild child/daredevil with no fear. He is such a mess but we wouldn't have it any other way!!

I believe in the miracle of prayer and know they are what helped my boys!! So thank you all for continuing to pray for them and our family. We love and appreciate each and every one of you.

♥Marissa♥

We need POOP!

2008-06-27T12:08:00.001-07:00

More Updates!

So yesterday the gasternologist appt went pretty well I guess you could say. I'm not sure if I really like the dr or not, but I like that he is at least doing something compared to some drs (refer to previous post). Anyway, there are three things it could be that is making Jace not have a bowel movement.

1. Severe constipation also called functional constipation.
2. Hi thyroid and/or calcium levels.
3. Hirschsprung's disease.

After seeing and talking to the dr he sent us for blood work, or as Hank calls it, to the "blood dr" and they will test that for his calcium and thyroid. Hopefully we'll know those results in the next few days. The dr said because Jace has had a "poop problem" (he didn't use those words exactly) since birth he can't rule out Hirschprung's Disease. Of course, as a mom, hearing the word "disease" immediately sends you into panic mode. So of course I've got a million things running thru my head. He continued to explain that if it is this disease that will require surgery. Right about then I wanted to cry (I didn't, not until I got in the car anyway). So next stop, the methodist hopsital on tuesday July 1 at 10:40 for an x-ray called a barium enema x-ray. From my understanding they will inject something into his intestines and then take an x-ray of his insides. I'm hoping everything comes out CLEAR.... please be praying for this.

Anyway, we won't know anything until after the X-Ray I'm sure, but as of now, please pray for poop! Jace is so uncomfortable not being able to have a bowel movement. When he does it's very painful, so please pray for quick results and even faster treatment! Pray the Dr's know what to look for and that what it is, there is a cure, hopefully one that doesn't require surgery.

♥Marissa♥

Does Harwin sell PhD's?

2008-06-25T11:24:00.001-07:00

FOLLOW UP:

Hank's blood results came back. I've got good and bad news.

GOOD NEWS:

Hank isn't allergic to anything. No food allergies what so ever (we never thought he was anyway). Surprisingly, no aireborne allergies either (this we did think he had). Not grass, pollen, pets or pet dander. No trees or flowers or dust mites. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

So of course thats good news, except I can't tell you how many times in the past (few months even) I've taken him to the dr for what I think is a sinus infection or something and they have dismissed it as "allergies." Well turns out, Dr's are morons who get paid a lot of money to do jack crap! Can you tell I'm a little aggrivated? So ok, not all Dr's are stupid, but it appears all the ones we've been to pretty much are, until now. It seems they are giving out PhD's these days to anyone who asks.... maybe they sell them on Harwin like they do knock off purses? Ya think?

Let me back up in case some of you reading don't know what has gone on the past 4 years. Like stated in my previous post, Hank has had tubes twice and his adnoids removed once due to chronic ear infections. Nothing every really got rid of them. Basically they were treated too late, from my understanding now. Since Hank was 4 months old (possibly earlier but I can't remember that far back) he was always sick. Mostly ear infections, but that comes with a cold or sinus stuff. After the second set of tubes things were better and dr's would tell me it was allergies because at the time his nose wasn't green or yellow (you know what i'm talking about fellow mommies). So I just figured Hank got Shays allergies and that was just something we had to deal with.... but again no one ever told me to go see an allergist.

Well fast forwarding to a few weeks ago. Hank was happy as could be one second and the next screaming and crying so hard he could barely tell me what hurt. When he finally did he said his ear hurt. The ear without the tube. So we went to the dr and of course, his ear drum ruptured. So now, the ear infections are back. So on to the ENT because a third set of tubes was reccommended by the peditrician. THANKFULLY the ENT knows what he's doing!

He sent us to the allergist/immunologist and we had blood work done. Which in turn gaves us the results stated above. It also gave us the bad results.

BAD NEWS:

Children get certain immunizations the first year of life. One is called Haemophilus influenzae type b; also known as Hib Vaccine. Another is called Streptococcus pneumoniae; also known as Pneumococcus Vaccine. The first (Hib) is most known to prevent (most)meningitis and other serious diseases. The other is most known to prevent pneumonia. Like all babies Hank got these vacciantions (all rounds of it). Little did I (or obviously any dr thus far) know, they never worked. Not one strain of it. The pneumococcus vaccine has 7 strains injected and children build up antibodies to these 7 strains. Hank never build ONE. Not a single antibody in his system! This only happens to about 5-10% of people.This vaccine also can prevent or help prevent, imagine this, EAR INFECTIONS! 20 percent of serious ear infections requiring tubes! Ok, so now do you understand why I'm so pissed (for lack of better words)?

Everytime I have taken him to the dr and they have told me it's allergies I now know it's been a sinus infection or worse. It has been some sort of Pneumococcus. So you can imagine that right about now I'm pretty upset. I'm mad, angry, scared and really confused. For all these years I have "trusted" that dr's know what they are doing. They went to school for this. They are licensed and I'm not. They know better than I do. I'm just an overprotective mother. Now I don't know if anyone knows anything. Of course, I'm not naive. I have always known dr's aren't always right. I know that for the most part dr's assume my child is like every other child that walks in their office with the same symtoms and yes, maybe those children did have "just allergies" but my child is just as important as the next. They deserve to be checked out as if they've never seen the symptoms before. He deserves to be taken seriously, and so do I.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:

So now, Hank will need the vaccinations again. He will get the two shots and then 1 month later they will do blood work again to see if they worked like they are supposed to. So all these years that my baby has been getting infection after infection, causing ear infections, there was something that could have been done. Yes, most of his dr's prescribed something, but what I question is could the tubes have been prevented? Would he be "bigger" and weigh more now had his immune system been "up to par" like it should have? Not once, by any of the dr's I trusted so much, did anyone say "hey, there is a chance his vaccinations didn't work. Lets test him and find out."

I'm kind of at a loss for words. Not really sure what to do next. I do know I will be switching peditricians. Some of you might think I'm overreacting, but the whole time we've lived in San Antonio the peditricians office we go to, I have seen every dr in that office. They don't really give you "one" dr that is your childs dr. It's just whoever is free. I've never really liked this, but I never really felt I had a reason to switch. Now I do. I plan on finding someone that will get to know my child and respect my opinions and feelings. Someone that will remember me the next time I walk into the office and not act as if they have never come in contact with me. Hank isn't easy to forget (haha) so when someone pretends they've never seen him before, it's a little frustrating. I also plan to take him straight to his ENT dr whenever he has a cold or sinus issues. The allergist/immunologist told me that everytime he's had a runny nose or cough it's never been allergies. It's always been something more. At least I know now the ENT cares and is doing his job. He didn't jump at the chance to do surgery on my 4 year old child for the money. He instead wanted to have everything checked out and see if we could fix the problem instead of cover it up. That's what I want in a dr. Someone that cares and knows what the hell he is doing!

Is that too much to ask?

Please keep praying for Hank. Pray that the vaccinations will work this time around. Pray it will stop his ear infections and other infections all around. Pray he will (hopefully) start to gain weight (he only weighs 28lbs! Jace weighed almost 21 at his 1 yr check up) and get healthy!

Jace has his gaternologist appt tomorrow at 1 pm. I'll let you know how that turns out. =)

♥Marissa♥

Happy FIRST Birthday JACE!

2008-06-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

Jace Louis Hulett -- Born June 18, 2007 at 4:40 am. Weighing 5lbs 3 oz 18 1/2in long. He was almost a month early, but he didn't care. He was ready to meet his brother and change our lives forever.... and we were ready for him to be here.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember not wanting to wake Shay up and tell him it was time to go to the hospital because I knew he had work in the morning and like with Hank, I didn't want it to be a "false alarm." I remember barely being able to walk into the hospital at 2:40 am because the contractions were so bad. I remember going into the exam room to find out I was only 3 1/2 cm! I was shocked! I couldn't believe it hurt so bad. I walked from the exam room to the delivery room and was checked again (this all happened in under 5 mintues) and I was 6 1/2. The nurse was saying it would be around 7 am or so when he was born. So I called my mom and asked where they were and told her the time frame. That was around 3:30 am. About 20 minutes later I got my epidural and finally was able to sit still for a second. I remember Shay looking so scared and nervous as if he had never done this before. He was mostly worried about me because my eyes were rolling into my head because I was SOOO tired. Around 4:15 I was checked again and the nurse said I was 9 cm and don't push for any reason because the dr wasn't there yet. I immediately called my mom and told her it would be before 6 am now so they of course put the pedal to the metal and hauled butt! Shay called his parents who were staying at our house with Hank and Jodi and they came up to the hospital. By 4:30 I was pushing and in 10 minutes he was here! SOOOOOO TINY!! I swear, I remember every detail of that moment. Every second. I remember looking at him and being so nervous because he was SO little (Hank was little, but Jace was LITTLE BITTY). They had some NICU nurses in the room in case his lungs weren't doing what they are supposed to, but he showed them. He was healthy and beautiful and I was too excited (and tired) to even cry. ha

Now one year later, our tiny, little, man is one years old. He has changed so much over the year and so much has changed for him. He has brought us nothing but joy and happiness since the very day we met him. Sadly, I must admit, I think this time around I've enjoyed it more than with Hank. When Hank was a baby I couldn't wait for all the "firsts" to happen. I feel now that in a way I wanted him to do things so badly, I didn't cherish all the little moments in between like I should have. Of course, I regret that, but I have since changed my thinking and with Jace I have been able to sit back and just watch. Watch him grow. Watch him learn. Watch him change. I have really gotten to know him. Who he is and who I think he will be when he grows up.

Jace is our sweet happy baby. He, like his brother, is 99% smiles all the time and unlike his brother, loves to eat.... ANYTHING (including dog treats! EW!)Jace melts my heart in the morning when I get him out of bed. He tucks his head and gives me this "sneaky" little smile. It's so cute and I look forward to it every morning, even if it's earlier than I'd like. He is busy busy (as most boys I'm realizing) and the things he does or tries to get into is somewhat new to me. Hank never cared about getting into cabinets or going near wall sockets. I never really had to worry about all that.... but Jace.... he would dive straight down the stairs if I didn't put that gate up. I believe I was mistaken about him at first. I thought he was going to be our calm, quiet child, but no.... he will be our wild child! He has no fear. He thinks he's 4 like his brother. He wants to do everything anyone else is doing. He wants to be big. Shoot, in his mind, he IS big. =)

Don't get me wrong... he is very sweet and loves to give me kisses, but cuddling -- not a chance! Hank was a big cuddler. Would let you rock him to sleep. Actually he still would! Jace, NEVER. He never wanted to be held to be fed (I know a big no-no to let them go to bed with a bottle, but I didn't have a choice!) These days only his daddy can hold him long. He's never fallen asleep on me, except when he was sick. He is so independent, it's wonerful and terrible all at the same time.

I love this little boy more than life itself. For a long time I didn't know if I'd ever have another child. Not because I didn't want another, but because Shay wasn't sure. Of course now he's very thankful for Jace and Hank having a brother, but the fear of the unknown is something most of us think about, but for Shay it's something he can't "plan" and nothing is scarier to him than not being about to prepare for something.

Jace is mommys little angel. He brightens my days and can make me smile when I have tears streaming down my face. He serious makes every stranger turn their head and tell me how beautiful he is. (It's his eyes!) He is truly such a wonderful blessing in my life and I'm so very thankful for him.

Jace is daddy's little man. He is just like Shay in so many ways. I have a feeling they are going to butt heads when he is older but will grow up to have a very close relationship like Shay and his dad have (they talk just about everyday, like me and my mom, ha!) Jace just adores Shay. Every little thing about him and of course, Shay absolutely adores Jace. He loves that he is the only one who Jace wants at night, even if at times it can be aggrivating to not be able to put the kid down.... it's still nice to know you are that "needed/wanted." I think Jace has brought a softer, more relaxed side out of Shay. He seems more at ease and seems to, like myself, enjoy it all a little more than the first time around.

Jace is Hanks best friend. Hank seriously LOVES this kid. He has his best interest at heart (most of the time!) and I know would do anything for him. He is such a big helper with Jace and I love that he allows Jace to play with him and his toys anytime he wants (well almost anytime!) He is such a big brother and if it wasn't for Hank I don't think I'd be able to love Jace the way I do. Hank taught me how to love selflessly. He taught me how to be the mom I am. He showed me what a childs love is and I will forever be grateful for all Hank, a tiny 4 year old child, has done for me and my life. And same goes for Jace.

So today, I celebrate (and cry) that my tiny little angel is no longer a little baby. He's growing up to be a big boy like his brother. Of course, I knew the day would come.... every day he gets older and things change, I just wasn't quite ready for it to happen so fast. So many things I want to show him and teach him before he isn't interested. There is so much I feel I haven't had time for. I just can't believe he is already ONE. Where did the time go? How did this happen, already? What's next? Am I ready for it?

Our Jace. Our sweet boy. Mommy and Daddy love you more than you will ever know. You have brought us more joy than we could have ever imagined. Our lives have changed so much since you came into this world and we welcome all the changes yet to come. We look forward to more firsts with you (like WALKING and TALKING) and everything in between. We promise to love you, support you, guide you and help you everyday for the rest of your life. You will one day grow to be a wonderful man and will feel you no longer "need us" but even then, we will be here. Everyday we thank God for sending you to us. He hand picked you just for our family and what a blessing we got. Our lives are truly amazing because of you and your brother and we couldn't be more proud to call you our son. Thank you for all you have given to us by being the little boy you are. We will forever be changed by knowing you and raising you and we can't wait for what the future has in store for you. We love you little man.... our "Jacer!"

Happy First Birthday Baby Boy!!

♥Marissa♥

50 of Lifes Lessons... WORTH LEARNING!

2008-06-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14 If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living , or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

♥Marissa♥

Q & A

2008-06-16T16:24:00.000-07:00

A Little Q&A

Like Stephanie, I too am trying to find any reason to avoid the dishes, folding laundry, cleaning the game room and starting dinner. I have a "case of the mondays" and don't feel like doing any of the above, so instead I'm here.... doing this...

Favorite Person in the World? One person? Everyone knows it's not possible to have just ONE favorite person. I have many favorites, but all for different reasons. My 3 boys! They are on the top of my list for sure. As well as my mom, gma and the rest of my family (including my bestest!)

Favorite food? Most everyone should know this. Mac and Cheese! DUH!! And pizza.... =)

Quirks about you? I have many! I have a certain place in my pantry where everything goes. I know when Shay gets something out of there it won't end up in the same place so I (secretly) go in after him and put it where it belongs! =)

Any regrets in life? Of course, everyone has regrets. But I do at the same time believe they are lessons learned.... but that doesn't mean I don't wish I would have done things differently. People I wouldn't have waste time on and people I would have rather spent more time with. There are things I wish I would have said to some and things I wish I could take back. Mostly, I wish I would have listened to my mom and trusted she knew better than me. Maybe then I wouldn't have been in such a rush to "grow up." I would have FINISHED SCHOOL!! Don't get me wrong... I love my life and everything I have and I know every choice I made or didn't make got me to where I am today, so I'm thankful, I just hope my children will learn to listen more, talk back less and trust that we know more than they think we do!

Favorite Blog recently? Without a doubt Angie's! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't read it (if she has posted). I feel as tho I really know her and it's because of her I feel my outlook on life and love and most importantly, faith has changed the most. And my other is reading about Baby Coy. Ann Marie and Chris' strength, courage and faith really makes me thankful for all I have in my life. They are all amazing people!

Worst job you’ve ever had? Working at KinderCare. I hated seeing the way some of those kids were raised, or should I say, not raised. It was so sad and as much as I love children, there is something different about taking care of others peoples kids..... it's NOT for me!

What job would you pay NOT to have? A mortician!

Favorite Bible verse right now?
"So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Got any confessions? I bite my nails when I'm upset or stressed. I know.... terrible habit and I hate it!

If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it? Honestly? I'd go on a shopping spree. Ha. I hardly ever buy myself anything anymore. I love to shop for my kiddos (and hubby) more, so I'd love to be "forced" to actually spend money on me. =)

Favorite thing about your house? I love having 4 boys right here next door! It's awesome and we live in a huge cul-de-sac so it's great for them to ride their 4-wheelers in! I love having a gameroom and I love my closet!

One thing you are bad at? These days, saving money! UGH! Something always comes up and I need to spend it.... hmmm... how does that happen? =)

One thing you’re good at? I love to write and I'm told I'm good. Maybe I am, who knows, but I know I love it. I also think I'm good at being a mom. That's something to be proud of, if I do say so myself! I'm good at coming up with good personal gifts for people.

If you could change something about your circumstances, what? I'd be able to stay home and have a good paying job!! =)I'd also like to live here but somehow be closer to my family because I miss them!

Who would you like to meet someday? I'd love to meet my great grandma. I hear all these stories about her, but I'd love to be able to know her.

Who is your real life hero? My mom. She somehow always manages to keep going when most people would have given up by now. She does whatever needs to be done for her family, no matter what it takes. I also really admire Angie and Ann Marie and Chris for all they are going thru. I can't even begin to imagine.

When are you most relaxed? Relaxed? What's that? Probably late at night in bed when I finally have a little alone time to do whatever I want.... like watch my DRV shows!

What stresses you out? My house looking like a tornado came thru it! My kiddos whining all day! AHHHHHHHHHH! Knowing I have a million things to do before friday....

Why do you blog? TO VENT! to brag, to write, to just do something for myself. I enjoy it and I hope others enjoy reading it.

Now copy and repost. Surely there is something you too can put off...

♥Marissa♥

Prayer List Continues...

2008-06-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

Real quick I want to ask all of you to be praying for my neighbor and her dad (and family). Her dad found out a few months ago he has cancer (again) and he has been having treatment since then. Sadly, the radiation has somehow caused a hole in his esophagus and they have found two tumors as well.

They are looking into options for surgery as I type this. There is a chance they will have to remove pretty much everything above his stomach (esophagus, trachea, etc) and then reattach his stomach almost up in his throat. I'm not quite sure how they do that, or exactly what is done, but in his position, it would more than likely not give him much quality of life if that is the surgery that is done.

PLEASE send many many prayers up for him. For his dr's to find a better way to fix the problem. For them to give him more time here with his family. Please ask that God gives Kathee the courage she needs to raise Jake (Hanks best friend) and manage to handle whatever outcome her father gets. Just ask the Lord to protect her and her family in this time. I can't imagine what she is going through, all I do know is she is one tough woman and I admire her strength. Pray that strength will not fade.

I have seen what miracles prayers can do in the lives of those I have asked you to pray for.... so please, once again keep praying! We are praying for all of you and I only hope you keep praying for us.
♥Marissa♥

Anxiety and all

2008-06-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

Continuing with fathers day...

I am probably one of the shyest people you will ever meet. Most called me a bitch growing up because I didn't talk and seemed "rude" by doing so, but truth is I'm too damn shy to say anything! I get embarrassed SO easily that I don't even like to order a pizza over the phone. I know, I'm so strange! I'm serious tho! I can go out in public with no make up on and not care what someone thinks, but to have to talk to someone I don't know and talk about something I don't know anything about, sends my anxiety levels through the roof.

Shay somehow manages to accept this and never says anything about it. He knows I hate to talk to people that I don't know. It's not easy for me to make friends and confortation is something I don't do. Maybe that's why I was always such a "doormat" when I was younger. I'd rather let someone walk all over me than say something that could start an argument. At least with someone I don't know.

I love Shay so much for his compassion and understanding. He respects that I have my faults or quirks and accepts me just the way I am. Growing up my mom always took care of everything for me (and many of my friends) ha, so I never had to face my fear of sticking up for myself. Against teachers or principles (and those that know me know I had a few run ins with those -- Truitt!) She was always there to take care of the "dirty work" so now, it's a new learning experience to figure out how to take care of my kiddos problems. I just don't have the guts to face people at times and tell them what needs to be said. Call me coward, it makes my body shake even now thinking about having to do that.

My best friend Aimee always tells me "do I need to call "whoever" and tell them whats up?" haha. She cracks me up cuz she will tell you like it is. Shay is the same way. Piss him off, you'll know.... piss me off, you may never find out. I only say things to people I know when they hurt or upset me.... but a "stranger" or even an acquaintance.... forget it!

I am so greatful to be married to a man that goes out of his way to not put me in the situations where I might have to deal with that fear of mine. He is so good to me by doing things he knows I am afraid of without even making me feel bad about it. I'm getting better, because lets face it, if I wanna live my life, I will have to talk to people I don't know, but Shay makes it easy for me to slowly work my way into it all. He has never once made a comment about it making his life harder (which I'm sure it does) because I'm such a chicken about the smallest things.

He loves me, anxiety and all, and I love him most for putting up with my crazy ways!

Because You Love Me -- Jo Dee Messina

I don't know how I survived
In this cold and empty world for all this time
I only know that I'm alive
Because you love me

When I recall what I've been through
There's some things
That I wish I didn't do
Now I do the things I do
Because you love me

And now that you're in my life
I'm so glad I'm alive
'Cause you showed me the way
And I know now how good it can be
Because you love me

And now that you're in my life
Oh, I'm so glad I'm alive
'Cause you showed me the way
And I know now how good it can be
Because you love me

I believe in things unseen
I believe in the message of a dream
And I believe in what you are
Because you love me
With all my heart and all my soul
I'm loving you and I never will let go
And every day I'll let it show
Because you love me
Because you love me
Because you love me

♥Marissa♥

A few prayers please!

2008-06-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. As most of you know and some may not, Hank has always had problems with ear infections. Since he was 3 months old he has had continuous ear infections for no apparent reason.

In August 2004, at 7 months old, he had his first set of tubes put in. Of course that was harder on me than him because he didn't have any idea what was going on. For almost a year, it was helpful, until it was time for them to come out, which they did, on their own.

Exactly one year later it was determined he needed a SECOND set of tubes and his adnoids removed, so again in August of 2005 we had that done. That time was a little harder on him but not for the pain, but the fear. That's when the fear of dr's came into the picture.

At that time is when we learned about his heart murmur, which meant more drs and more tests. So needless to say, for years he was not fond of any dr or dr's office. I don't blame him. Slowly but surely he has realized not all dr's are mean, he will not get "poked" (shots) everytime he goes and sometimes they help him.

Well, anyway, his tubes from the second time have stayed in place for a good while, actually his left ear still has the tube, but the right has fallen out. He was ear infection free for quite a while, so we thought we were in the clear. WRONG.

Friday he developed an ear infection in the right ear (the ear without the tube) and his ear drum ruptured. Common for an ear infection. Poor guy was in so much pain and of course it was the weekend. So monday he went to the dr and we were ordered to the ENT, of course. So wednesday of this week we went and thankfully all went pretty well. They did an extensive hearing test because that was the first concern. Too many ear infections and tubes can cause hearing problems, but he is fortunate enough to hear just fine.... Listening on the other hand is something he does not do so well with. =)

The ENT ordered us to the Allergist and Immunologist for MORE tests. Sheesh! I swear my poor baby, at 4 years old, has seen more dr's and had more tests run than most adults have in their whole life! So anyway, on wednesday, June 18 (Jace's first birthday!!) we are headed to the Allergist. Please Please Please pray they can find what's wrong and fix it!!!

The ENT is assuming his allergies are what is causing the drainage that backs up into his ears, so if we can get the allergies under control then maybe the ear infections will stop!!!! CROSSING MY FINGERS.

Also, the immunologist is for testing his immune system. There is a chance his immune system is too weak to fight infections so that could also be the cause of continuous colds. Of course, over the last 4 years, no one has ever told me that allllll the shots babies get when they are younger to build their immune systems, MIGHT NOT WORK. So.... my poor little man, might have to get what they call booster shots. Pretty much, from my understanding, they are shots to boost the immune system and fill in where his initial immunizations didn't work. FANTASTIC! I'm a little aggrivated, but mostly scared and worried for Hank. They will do blood work, which for anyone that knows me, I CAN BARELY HANDLE and I'm an adult! So I'm nervous to see how he is going to do.

So please be praying for him on wednesday. Pray for him to handle all the tests they need to do and pray they can find out whats wrong and fix the problem. If they can't or whatever treatment they decide on does not stop the ear infection, in 3 months Hank will have yet another set of tubes put in. I pray this will not be the case. I don't know if I can handle seeing him go through that again, especially at his age where he never forgets a thing!

ALSO!!!

Poor Jace, my happy and pretty much healthy baby also is having some health issues. For quite a while now he has been having what dr's are saying constipation. Sure, I know that that is, but this is far worse than that! Of course, all the peditrician will tell me to do, for MONTHS now, is up his fruits and veggies. Give him juice, so baking soda baths. Whatever! IT DOESN'T WORK! You can't force a kid to drink juice he doesn't like. You can only give him so many prunes, wheat, bran, grapes, raisins, pears and whatever else before they don't want it anymore.

SOOOOOO finally, I saw a different dr at his dr's office and she reccomended a pediatric gastroenterologist. Good Lord.... could I have to keep anymore dr's names in order? I swear I feel like I'm taking an 80 year old woman to all her dr's appts with these kiddos! ha.

Anyway, he is scheduled for June 26 to see that dr and I've read and heard nothing but wonderful reviews for him. I pray he can also find what's wrong or give me something to do to help Jace. He is in SOOOO much pain when trying to have a bowel movement, I almost cry everytime for him.

So I'm also asking for prayers for Jace. Be praying for him on thursday, June 26, and pray for that dr to figure out what's wrong or find a way to help him.

ON A GOOD NOTE!! =)

Jace has slept through the night every night since Monday. I know... most of you are reading this saying "WHAT?!? HE HASN'T SLEPT THRU THE NIGHT ALL THIS TIME?" Unfortunately no, but hey Hank didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 3 and even after that it wasn't continous (he was just too sick as a baby)..... so this is imporovement. I keep praying for one more good night, day after day. I'm trying to take is step by step, one day at a time. Not getting to far ahead of myself, but I must admit, I'm pretty darn excited. HA. I haven't had a good, full nights sleep in YEARS, so I'm feeling pretty good these days! =)

Thanks ahead of time for keeping us and our boys in your prayers. Every one of them matters and makes a difference. We really appreciate it and I will keep you all posted after the dr's appts to let you know the outcomes. =)

♥Marissa♥

Male Bonding

2008-06-12T22:57:00.000-07:00

When I first met Shay and we started dating I didn't know every detail about him, but I knew from very early on he was the man I was going to marry. There was no doubt in my mind... until he said he wasn't sure if he wanted kids. ha! Actually he didn't say he DIDN'T want them, he just wasn't sure WHEN he'd want them..... ha, little did he know!

n case you didn't know, our little blessings kind of snuck up on us.... there wasnt much planning.... then again, we don't plan much in our lives! We kind of fly by the seat of our pants every day. It's just what works best for us. =) Of course everything worked out just how it was supposed to in the end.... as usual.

So anyway, when parenthood happened to us, we couldn't be more thrilled, but Shay couldn't have been stretched thinner! Seriously... the poor guy was working 50-60+ hours a week (retail at that!) and going to school at A&M full time...12+ hours a semester. Summer school every session and now dealing with a sick newborn baby that NEVER slept. How Shay managed to study or graduate is beyond me. I know I couldn't have done it. Maybe that's why I quit when I did. ha.

Regardless, Shay never let work or school get in the way of being a dad. A real dad. He says things now how he wishes he would have had more time when Hank was a baby to do this and that, but he doesn't realize he was very much a part of his childhood, even if he didn't feel like it.

I remember Shay holding Hank for the first time in the hospital after he was born. He looked so scared! ha. He thought he was going to break him. But he got over that pretty quick. He quickly learned what Hank liked and how he wanted to be held. He knew as well as I did what he needed when he needed it even though I was the one with Hank 24/7. Shay was a good father from day one and even though he might not think so, he is an even better father today.

He tells me how he doesn't know how I do it. How I manage to raise the boys and remember their dr's appts, t-ball practice and games, know all Hank's friends names, and can always find Hank's blanket and dog "cinder" just by memory. Shay on the other hand is lucky if he remembers to pick his lunch off the counter before leaving for work in the morning (which truthfully he leaves 4 out of 5 days a week!) Honestly, I am in awe of all Shay can do. How he manages to go to work 60-70+ hours a week, run his OWN business ALONE (he lost his only employee almost a month ago) and still come home and find some energy to play with the boys, give hank and/or jace a bath if needed, play mario kart with hank (and me!) and then find time to pay attention to me. He truly is remarkable in my eyes. I only wish I could have the patience Shay has.

This man of mine is the love of my life. I love him for a million different reasons, but being a dad is probably the reason I love him most. He has this bond with Hank and Jace that I could never understand. They just adore him and he can do no wrong in their eyes, compared to me who is always the not-so-fun one who is always telling them "NO!" =)

Watching Shay with Hank is the sweetest thing. Shay enjoys nothing more than to teach Hank anything and everything he can, mostly sports. When Hank started T-Ball I actually think Shay was more excited than Hank. Shay couldn't wait to show him how to hit the ball or catch it. Shay grew up playing baseball (and was VERY good I might add) and I know it makes it that much more special for him to be a part of it all. I look forward to the day we are watching Hank play highschool ball and his daddy can say "when I played in highschool...." and tell him stories of his "glory days." I'm excited for the first time they enter a parent-child golf tournament like I did with my dad because then I can put those first place trophies with mine. I can't wait until Hank runs his first track meet and beats his daddys best time (maybe his Aunt Jodi's time too ;) ) Those will be the days.... and I love to think about them, but I hope they don't come toooo soon!

Shay and Jace have this connection that I envy. The second Jace hears that front door open at the end of the day, he wants down, out of my arms and races (crawling) to Shay. It's like a little dog wanting to play. From that moment, poor Shay is stuck carrying him around until bedtime. I feel bad for him, but there is no prying him away from his daddy. It's the most beautiful sight to me, even if at times all Shay wants to do is change his clothes! I think Shay has better odds at Jace being his football child. =) haha! I can imagine the days when all three of my boys are tackling each other in the yard because Jace has a game that weekend. Maybe we'll get lucky and Jace will decide against contact sports (at least that's what I hope!) and he'll follow in his daddy and brothers footsteps with baseball or running. Maybe he'll take after my side of the family and be the golfer. Who knows!!

No matter what the boys decide to do or be when they grow up, Shay will be right there, supporting them, rooting them on and teaching them everything he knows. If he doesn't know something about whatever it is, you can bet your butt Shay will learn everything he can just so he can help them in every way possible. He is the best father I could ever wish for for my boys and I'm so thankful he is and will always be their role model. What more could I ask for?

There will come a time when all my boys are sitting around enjoying the 'male bonding' rituals, more than likely, drinking a few "blue cans" together, taking about stories from "way back when" and I only hope they will have nothing but beautiful stories to share. Funny, loving, and probably embarrassing stories. I pray my boys will know by then (hopefully sooner!) how lucky and blessed they are to have the father they have.

I'm so so so thankful. Thankful for this life, for my kids and my husband, for my health and theirs. I'm just so overly thankful God chose me to be blessed with all that He has given me. I could never wish for more than all that I have. To have a father than loves his children and is not afraid to show it. To have a man to love me unconditonally despite my shortcomings. To have a family that has more than many. I am so very blessed and I cherish every moment.

Watching You -- Rodney Atkins

Driving through town just my boy and me
With a happy meal in his booster seat
Knowing that he couldn't have the toy
Till his nuggets were gone
A Green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my breaks and mumbled under my breath
As fries went a flying and his orange drink covered his lap

Well then my four year old said a four letter word
That started with "s" and I was concerned
So I said son now where'd you learn to talk like that

He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you

We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said Lord please help me help my stupid self

Then this side of bedtime later that night
Turning on my son's scooby doo nightlight
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
And spoke to God like he was talking to a friend
And I said son now where'd you learn to pray like that

He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We like fixing things and holding mama's hand
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you

With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug
Said my little bear is growing up
And he said but when I'm big I'll still know what to do

Cause I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
Then I'll be as strong as superman
We'll be just alike, hey won't we dad
When I can do everything you do
Cause I've been watching youHey yeah.. uh huh

♥Marissa♥

Free Blog Makeover.... MUST GO!

2008-06-12T14:26:00.000-07:00

Hey you fellow bloggers!!! Head on over to Pink Armchair Designs and check out her summer giveaway!! It's awesome.....and man I could use a blog makeover. Shoot, I could use a full all over body makeover as well.... Think she could do that as well?!?

Anyway....

GO NOW to Pink Armchair Designs for more information and DON'T FORGET to tell her I sent you and we could BOTH win a blog makeover!! Hurry up... Stop reading and GO!

♥Marissa♥

Special Little Guy

2008-06-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

***Fathers Day post to come later***

For Hanks first birthday I wrote a poem for him and now I wrote one for Jace. I would like some input on what you think. I'm posting Jace's first and Hanks after so you can compare. =) THANKS AHEAD OF TIME!

(For Jace)
Special Little Guy

It's hard to believe
One year has already passed
So much has changed
It happened way too fast

June 18, 2007
Was a special day for us all
5lbs 3oz 18.5 inches long
So beautiful yet so small

Now it's time to celebrate
Because you are turning one
You are such a blessing
So happy and so fun

You're mommy's little man
And daddy's pride and joy
Your big brother adores you
You're our beautiful little boy

We couldn't be more blessed
To have you as our son
We look forward to our future
And all that's yet to come

Always know God is with you
and He will never leave your side
Follow your heart and trust yourself
and know He will be your guide

As things will surely change
As the years pass on by
Always believe and never forget
You're our special little guy

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(For Hank)
Our Little Boy

5:36 pm on a Wednesday afternoon
5 pounds 12.5 ounces 19 inches long
You were here in our arms
So tiny, yet so strong

It's hard to believe
Just one short year ago
You were just arriving
Oh how fast you sure did grow

So much has happened since that day
That has completely changed our lives
But nothing will be more memorable
Than the first time we looked into your eyes

So many firsts in one year
With even more to come
We can't believe it's already time
For you to be turning one

There is so much we want to give you
And teach you through the years
We promise to always support you
And help you overcome your fears

Life will not always be easy
And things will not always be fair
But trust that God is watching over you
And He is always there

Our love is unconditional
And never will it end
Remember to always trust yourself
And on us you can depend

As the years will quickly pass
You will always bring us joy
But no matter how old you might be
You will always be our little boy

♥Marissa♥

He loves me just the way that I am

2008-06-11T22:40:00.000-07:00

So keeping on with the Fathers Day posts...

I love this man I married for many, many reasons. I love our understanding of each other. He gets me like no one else and I understand his ways better than anyone else ever could. That's something I love most about him.

I am female.... obviously. =) Which means I am hormonal. Sure, I blame it on the kids and pregnancies, but truth is, I was hormonal before I ever had Hank. It's just a fact of life. If you're a girl you're emotional, moody, bossy, sometimes (not that often) unreasonable, and mostly, CONFUSING! Shay gets it. Well, kind of. Actually, not really, but he lets me be me. He allows me to cry over a commercial (no, I'm NOT pregnant) or get mad over something I have no control over. He allows me to just feel what I feel and he doesn't question it. Most of the time, he just lets me be and deal with it all in my own way. He respects that about me. I like to handle things on my own. I'm stubborn so leaning on someone else when things are tough isn't really my nature, but he's there when I want him to be and knows when to back off. I love that he just lets me be who I am and accepts me that way.

Not only does he let me the crazy woman I am, he also allows me to be the easy going laid back mom I want to be. Sure we disipline our children, but we are very blessed.... we truly have GOOD kids. I'm not one for spanking. I never grew up being spanked. I (PERSONALLY) don't see the purpose in it, but then again, like I said, 99% of the time, our kiddos are good, so there is no need for that. Let me clear things up, I'm not saying I've never felt that urge to pop Hanks backside, because I have and I've done it, but it got me no where and I have faith in talking things out. Sure, that won't work with all kids, so spank away if it works with your kiddos. Mine, ha.... it backfires.

Shay is so understanding (well as understanding as a male can be haha) and forgiving and like myself, lets a lot of things just roll off his back. I think thats how we manage to get along so well. We don't fight. I know, sounds weird, but truthfully, we really hardly ever get in a "knock down drag out fight." Sure we argue, but thats even few and far between. I'm not sure if thats a good of bad thing. I learned long ago to pick my battles and from then on, I've been such a passive person, it takes an AWFUL lot to piss me off. But when I do get mad, you'll know. I can hold my own, but it has to be WORTH it. Why waste my energy on something that won't matter tomorrow? No need to throw away a good moment for a bad second. In my eyes, I want nothing but positive energy in my world.... so I do everything I can to make that happen. And Shay, he gets that. He knows I'm not a fighter. He knows what pushes my buttons and he respects me enough not to push them (at least knowingly!) I love him for that. I love him for letting me be the person I am and allowing me to continue to grow. He has NEVER tried to change me or ask me to be anything other than what I am. He loves me just the way I am, post baby body and all! Who wouldn't love someone that tells them they see them just the way they did 6 years ago when they were 20 lbs lighter? Now if only I could copy his eyes and make glasses out of them for me to wear, I'd probably love looking at myself naked in the mirror. =)

My Baby Loves Me -- Martina McBride

Dont need no copy of vogue magazine
Dont need to dress like no
Beauty queen
High heels or sneakers, he dont
Give a damn
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am

He never tells me Im not good enough
Just give me unconditional love
He loves me tender and he loves me mad
He loves me silly and he loves me sad

He thinks Im pretty, he thinks Im smart
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart
Hes always sayin hes my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am

And when theres dark clouds in my eyes
He just sits back and lets em roll on by
I come in like a lion go out like a lamb
My baby loves me just the way I am
My baby loves me just the way I am

He thinks Im pretty, he thinks Im smart
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart
Dont see no reason to change my plan
My baby loves me just the way I am
My baby loves me just the way I am

♥Marissa♥

Fathers (Day) Week!

2008-06-10T07:59:00.000-07:00

Well as I'm sure most of you know, or at least I hope you remembered, Father's Day is sunday.... and for once I have it all taken care! Yeah, I know... I can't believe it either. I'm normally running around 2 days before trying to get everything done and still trying to figure out what I want to get Shay, but not this year. I've known what I was getting for a while now and some how I've ended up getting even more than planned. The hard part for me is, I am NOT good with keeping surprises. I want to give it to him now. I'm being good, but I must admit it's killing me. =)

Anyway, Stephanie posted yesterday saying she is going to post daily about her husband. Things she loves about and I decided I wanted to join in. No, not blog about HER husband, but mine and how wonderful I think he is and all the things I love most. I'm just warning you now, if you're not in the mood for LoVe then skip these next few posts. =)

Shay and I have been married for 5 years in August. We will be together for 6 years in 2 days. I sometimes can't believe it myself. So going back 6 years ago, I remember one of the things I loved most about Shay was his laid back, chill personality. He was calm and easy going and I always felt so comfortable around him. We always had a good time, no matter where we were (which was The Tap 99% of the time). He was this strong guys guy and nothing was going to stop him from fulfilling his dreams. I admired that, and still do. He did anything and everything he had to to finish school and support himself, then us, as a family. He is the strongest, most determined and admirable person I have ever met. I am truly blessed.

Jumping ahead to today, he is still that man and more. He has come so far. We have come so far together. I love him more everyday. Not only for who he is to me, but who he is to our children. I could not dream of a better father for them. The greatest thing in the world to me is see their faces light up every morning and night when they see their daddy. They both adore him so very much, it's a beautiful thing to witness.

Ok, so onto it. A reason I love Shay... as if I don't have a million reasons I could blog about. I love that he is my best friend. I love that he loves me in a way I never knew a person could love someone. He loves me so much that when I don't always love myself, he fills in that hole until I see what he sees in me. He isn't "that kind of guy" that tells me constantly that I'm beautiful or perfect, which I appreciate, because when he says it, I know he means it and that means even more. He showed me what love is. What love for a person is. What love for a spouse is. What love from a man is. He has taught me so much about myself that I will forever be, or at least feel that I am, indebted to him. But best of all, I love that no matter how much he loves me, I will always love him MORE. (So no ones know, but that's always been our "thing" that I love him "more" and he says he loves me "more." I know gay, but it is what it is and I love it.)

So Shay.... I will always love you MORE. I thank God everyday for creating you JUST for ME. He truly does have a plan for everyone and you were a part of my plan. Praise God for that, because I am not complete without you.

Also.... on everydays post I will post the lyrics to a song that makes me think of him and that I think fits that days post.... so in honor of today's post....

She Likes It In The Morning
Clay Walker

she likes it in the morning
when i run my fingers through her hair
she smiles when i call her darlin
she looks like an angel layin there
she wants me in the evening
to listen close to how she feels
she needs to know i need her
and heaven knows i always will

cuz she loves me
every single day and night
and she says we are everything
thats good in her life
she says she loves me more than anything
on earth and thats almost
as much as i love her

she likes to lay down on me
and rest her head on my chest
and softly whisper to me
what she won't share with anyone else
and theres a sweetness in her laughter
when it's just the two of us
and i try so hard to capture
every little thing she does

cuz she loves me
every single day and night
and she says we are everything
thats good in her life
she says she loves me
more than anything on earth
and thats almost as much as i love her

and she says she loves me
more than anything on earth
and thats almost almost as much
as i love her

and she likes it in the morning

♥Marissa♥

Summer is here and I need a fan!

2008-06-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

Seriously, could it get any hotter? This heat is absolutely killing me and OF COURSE I have two boys that love nothing more than being outside as much as possible. I, on the other hand, appreciate the air conditioning and wouldn't want my make up to run from sweating so much, so please get me a fan outside NOW. ;)

So yeah, it's JUNE. How did this happen? I swear I can remember being pregnant this time last year.... praying July would hurry up and get here so we could meet our sweet baby boy. I couldn't wait and was so anxious it was killing me. I wanted Hank to finally see his baby brother so he could really understand what was going on. I was just overwhelmed with everything going on at the time, I wanted something to happen to make me stop and enjoy the moment instead of rush thru it. Well, that surely happened.... sooner than we all expected! Ha!! Almost a month early actually. Our sweet boy was born June 18 and I can't believe in 2 weeks that little guy will be ONE years old!!!! Where did the time go?

So much has changed in the past year. So many wonderful things we have been blessed with. A new addition to our family, Jace, a new sister-in-law, DeDe, a new house, new friends, a new "niece" for me, Adalynn. So many things to be thankful for. So many gifts God has given us. We are so very greateful. I know this year will bring even more changes. My best friend is getting married!! YAY!! We are getting our FIRST nephew. I CAN'T WAIT for baby Cameron to get here. Who knows, maybe we'll be getting more nieces or nephews haha! But I really can't believe it's time for Jace to be turning ONE. I'm just kind of shocked it's actually happening. I'm so excited, because I love watching him grow and change and turn into this little boy, but it's hard to watch at the same time.

I do know this. I thank God everyday for one more day with my children and husband. I thank Him for giving us all that we have. I thank Him for the hard days because they make the good ones seem that much better. I thank God for all these blessings in my life. Over this past year I have seen so many people go thru things I can't even begin to imagine what it must be life. I have witnessed cancer in people I love and strength to fight it, miracles happen in the birth of a premie child, courage to keep holding on when someone feels that the world is against them because they are told both of their parents are seriously ill. I have seen more this year than I have in a very long time, but it has all helped me grow. I am wiser now. I am stronger now. I am braver now. I feel I can handle more now than I could last year at this time. So to everyone who has been a part of the last year of my life... Thank you. In someway your life, your story, your struggles have helped me. They have changed me. And I am grateful for those changes. I hope this next year brings even more changes in me. I pray for them and I will embrace every obstacle, challenge and blessing given to me and I will know that God is molding me into the person He wants me to be. What could be better than that?

♥Marissa♥

God is GOOD!

2008-05-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

Well everyone, I'm happy to report Aimee's mom is home and headed for a full recovery after her surgery. They removed 42 (yes, 42!!) staples the other day and she is heading back to Louisiana saturday. She is ready to be home, even tho Aimee and her sister would rather her stay. She wants her bed....her house....her things. So thank you all for the prayers for the surgery to go well..... They were heard!!! Keep praying that she continues to heal and all stays well!!!

Another good note... Aimee's dad had surgery yesterday and is CANCER FREE!!! YAY GOD! He is so good to us!! He will have one more round of treatment just to be safe, or as the dr told them "just for kicks" but he is doing great as well. Now please, just pray for him and Aimee's mom to quit smoking COMPLETELY!!! And I will be praying for any of you who smoke to be able to kick the habit as well. I hope you are praying for yourself too. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop smoking. If you haven't seen what all it can do to someone after this, then you need to open your eyes a little bigger and be selfish for once and do what is BEST FOR YOU!!! Please, I pray for your strength to stop smoking. I pray for my family members that smoke and hope they will be given the courage and strength they need to let the habit go.

On the other hand, I have a few more prayer requests. Shay's cousin Brandon and his wife Tiffany were blessed with the birth of their beautiful little girl Payton in the middle of May. Since then, sadly, Payton has failed two hearing tests and they now will go see a pediatric Audiologist June 9. The dr told them to prepare for the worst. As we all know, prayers can make miracles happen!!! Please join with me and pray for God to hear baby Payton Elizabeth Awalts ears. Pray He will take her in His hands and help her mature so that they do not have to prepare for the worst. Be praying for her parents, Brandon and Tiffany, to find the strength they need to pull thru, the knowledge they need to understand the outcome and the faith they will need to hold on to should the unspeakable happen. Please God, lay your hand on Payton and protect her and heal her. Please lift her up in your prayers tonight and everyday after that all will go well at the Audiologist and if something is wrong, their is a cure!!!

I also want to pray for people I don't know, yet they need all the prayers they can get. If you have read my previous posts, you know about the family that lost their baby girl Audrey. Well they have now lost their nephew who was barely 2 months old. They believe it was SIDS. Please pray for their whole family and for baby Luke's parents. I can not imagine what they are going thru. I know from reading their story I will hug Jace even more than I already do and will sleep peacefully knowing he is "out of the woods" for SIDS in a few more weeks. I have heard of stories of babies dying from SIDS, but this is the "closest" story I've heard to someone I "know." I am just begging God for mercy on that family. They have suffered unimaginable amounts of pain already, please ask Him to lift the hurt, grief and struggles from them. Like Angie says in her blog, pray for God to distribute some of the grief onto us. Let us help them by carrying a little part of their grief for them so it does not turn into to much for them to handle.

Again, thru it all, I still believe GOD IS GOOD! He is always good.... no matter what we may be dealing with. He does not cause our suffering and pain. He does not do these terrible things to us. But He loves us even when we blame Him for the tough times. He is good. He is always here. He is GREAT!
♥Marissa♥

Growing up...

2008-05-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd share some pictures of our guys. Man, they grow up way too fast. I just love them so much. Everyday is a new experience. I wish there was a way to record every moment in my mind so I wouldn't forget a single thing.

Jace is changing so much. Still waiting for those first steps.... but they will happen, soon enough I'm sure! His favorite (and really only) word is still "bye" while waving. It's so cute cuz he waves to everyone! =) His new things is making Hank laugh. Jace will squeal which in turn makes Hank crack up and then Jace will squeal louder so Hank will laugh again and repeat. It goes on and on and it's hilarious.... altho very loud at moments. ha. I just love the sound of him laughing. Nothing makes me smile more than the two of my boys just loving being together.

Hank LOVES being a big brother. Our two neighbors are only children (well one of them will have a sister/brother in Nov.) and Hank loves saying "HIS" brother or "MY" brother when they are around. He's very protective already. It's so cute. He is changing so much as well. He is learning so many new things at school everyday that he goes. He is loving his (new) school and enjoying making new friends.

Well, here are some pics!! Hope you enjoy =)

♥Marissa♥

A strong woman vs. A woman of strength

2008-05-20T08:10:00.001-07:00

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape...
but A woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything...
but A woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear...

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her...
but A woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone...

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...
A woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them...

A strong woman walks sure footedly...
but A woman of strengthknows God will catch her when she falls...

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face...
but A woman of strength wears grace...

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey...
but A woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong...

♥Marissa♥

A little of this.... A little of that

2008-05-18T13:20:00.001-07:00

Sorry again for the lack of posting. There really hasn't been much going on around here to blog about. Hank is almost done with his T-ball. His last game is next saturday and I'm actually thankful for that, because this heat is killing me!! It's only May and it's already 90+ degrees!!! I can tell it's going to be a HOT, HOT summer!!! Please, shoot me now!!!

Jace is 11 months old today! I can't believe it. Where did the time go? I'm so sad, but it's so much fun to see him growing up and I'm excited for what the next year holds. To imagine him and Hank playing together, both running around in the yard, playing on the swing set, hearing the giggles in the gameroom knowing they are up to NO good is something I'm really looking forward to. Now, if only the kid could learn to walk, that would be great! He's so heavy to carry around I might die if I have to carry him much longer up and down these stairs! AHHHHH!!

Mothers day was a good day. My mom and grandma were here, so that was really nice to spend the weekend with them. I think this year, mothers day was extra special. I feel I have learned a lot this past year and now being able to look at my children and know I get to celebrate Mothers Day because of them, that means more to me than anything. I am so thankful for my family. In the past few months I have read stories of people I don't even know who have suffered more than I can imagine. So many people that have struggled with losing a child, not being able to get pregnant, and having premie babies, yet some how their strength and faith has opened my eyes and helped me to grow and become stronger and most importantly, strengthen my realationship with God. I'm just so incredibly grateful for all I have. I now hug my children a little tighter, kiss them more often, yell less, have more patience, cherish every moment a little more and tell them I love them a million times a day. I have finally realized the true meaning of motherhood and I'm so very blessed to have my two beautiful boys! God is so good!!!

I have seen miracles happen everyday around me as well. For every bad things I've seen, read or been a part of, two good things take it's place. I and my family have been so fortunate with all we have been given by our Lord that we praise Him daily for every bit of it. Shays business is doing great, I'm loving being at home still and our boys are thriving!! They are both so smart and just as happy and healthy as could be. We could not ask for more.

I do tho need to ask for some prayers. Please keep praying for my best friend Aimee's mom and her family. She is having brain surgery again monday, May 19. Please pray for her strength, for the dr's to have plenty of knowledge and steady hands during the surgery. Pray that her mom pulls through with minor or no side effects! Pray for her childrens strength to help her recover. Everyone in their family is pretty worn out and overwhelmed. Please keep praying for Baby Coy. Pray God will heal his eyes and continue to protect him from any infections or side effects from being a premie. Also, be praying for our families. Pray for baby Cameron to continue to grow and that Sarah keeps feeling good the rest of her pregnancy. For my moms business to continue doing so well. Pray for the Hulett side as well. Shay's mom's parents to continue to heal and adjust to al the changes happening in their lives. For Mimi to keep her strength and postive attitude so she might walk again. For Papa to be able to adjust to his new "home" and that his parkinsons does not worsen. Pray for all the children (Shay's brothers and sisters) with all the decisions they all have to make in their personal lives. For Dayna and Cory and Hollyn and all they have going on in their family and to keep them safe. For Dustin and Dede and their new marriage. For Garrett and Carly and Addy and their move to a new state and new Air Force Base in a few months. For Jodi at Baylor and her running.

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. They are much appreciated and we love all of you for sharing in our lives. We are so lucky and blessed to have such wonderful people to call our friends.

♥Marissa♥

Life, Death, and all thats in between

2008-05-08T07:56:00.000-07:00

First off, I need to back up. I've been a bad blogger and been slacking lately on keeping everyone who is so anxiously (haha) waiting my daily posts. I'm sorry for taking so long!! It seems one thing happens and it throws my whole schedule off.

Death:

April 19 was a sad day for the Hulett family. Bop, Shay's grandmother, passed away that night. We made it to Arlington in time to see her one last time and around 11:30 pm she finally went to be with our good Lord. It was her time and we were happy she finally got what she wanted, but it's never easy to say goodbye. The funeral was beautiful and of course, it was great to see everyone, just wish it was under better circumstances.

Life:

A little over a week later, my best friend Lindsay had her baby girl. I'm so excited to have my "niece" here!! She's absolutely beautiful and I can't wait to see her and hold her. Miss Adalynn Blain was born on May 1, 2008 at 7:03pm. She weighed in at 6lbs 10oz 18.5 inches long!! What a blessing this little girl is and she couldn't have better parents. Congratulations Lindsay and Chad.... Cherish that angel and kiss her for me =)

In between:

My bestest, Aimee, needs your prayers. Her mom is once again in surgery as I type this. She has a brain aneurysm and they are trying to coil it. They attepmted this once before but were unsuccessful. Now she is in Houston and a different Dr is trying the procedure again. Please pray for steady hands and a wealth of knowledge. Please ask God to help this Dr in coiling this aneurysm. If this does not work she will then have to have another Dr perform surgery to clip the aneurysm. We do not want this. We want them to coil it and let her recover FULLY!!! Please beg our Lord to hold Denise (Aimee's mom) tightly in His hands and help to heal her quickly. Please ask that He will also watch over Aimee, her sister Sherie and brother Scott and help them to find the peace they need to handle this. Prayers make these "inbetween" the good and bad times seem more bareable. Give them strength to accept the outcome and help them find a way to move forward. God is so good and we know He will make this right.

Sherie and Aimee

Denise and Sherie

♥Marissa♥

How to make a BEAUTIFUL life

2008-05-08T07:42:00.000-07:00

For my birthday (back in March) my mom gave me this card. To be honest, most cards, I end up throwing away after reading because lets face it, my husband already wants to kill me for the "things" I insist I'll want one day. =) But this one, it's without a doubt a keeper. With mothers day only a few days away I thought I'd share what this card says because it's something to know. It's something to realize and remember.

How to make A BEAUTIFUL LIFE

Love yourself.
Make peace with who you are and where you are at this moment in time.
Listen to your heart.
If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, make time for yourself.
Enjoy your own company.
Let your mind wander among the stars.
Try.
Take chances.
Make mistakes.
Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it's also full of surprises.
The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone.
Be happy.
When you don't have what you want, want what you have.
Make do.
That's a well-kept secret of contentment.
There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow.
You have to make your own way.
To know where you're going is only part of it.
You need to know where you've been, too.
And if you ever get lost, don't worry.
The people who love you will find you.
Count on it.
Life isn't days and years.
It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you.
Make a BEAUTIFUL LIFE...
The kind of life you deserve!

That's all the card needed to say. I didn't need my mom to write a long message or tell me how much she loves me, because this said it. She has tried for so many years now to help me see my worth. To make me understand how special I am and how important my own life is. A mothers love is never ending. She worries about me as much now as she did when I was my kiddos ages. She is my best friend and she is why I am the woman I am today.

♥Marissa♥

When do you stop worrying? You don't...

2008-04-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, 'It's their life,' and feel nothing?

When I was in my *twenties* , I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, 'When do You stop worrying?' The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage .' My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my *thirties*, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, 'Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.' My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my *forties*, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, 'They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults.' My dad just smiled faintly And said nothing.

By the time I was *50*, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle.... There was nothing I could do about it. I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments. My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my dad's warm smile and his occasional, 'You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?'

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, 'Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried.' I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

♥Marissa♥

He is always here!

2008-04-16T12:27:00.000-07:00

As I sit with tears falling down my face, I smile and thank God for all that He has done in my life. My best friend told me about this story of a family that was expecting their fourth little girl. A little angel they were going to lose right after she was born. They actually weren't even sure if she would be born alive. This family is more than amazing. Their story is remarkable. There are no words to describe them and their faith that they share with the world is so powerful and moving. It might be long, but their story will change your life. It has truly changed me forever. My life will never be the same and I can only hope the same for you.

I, like many I'm sure, look at my life and wonder how I got here and is it right for me? Do I deserve this? What did I do to deserve these beautiful blessings I have? Why me? What did I do that was so special to be able to be married to a wonderful, loving man and have two, amazing little boys? I start to doubt myself sometimes. I question God and ask Him how I got so lucky?

I also question Him when things go wrong in my life. Why now? Again, what did I do to deserve this? How come He feels the need to give me a burden I do not think I can bare? Why does He think I can handle things when I just know I can't? Where is He when I need Him most? How come He would do this to me?

After reading this story of little Audrey, how could anyone, such as myself, doubt that God is here or questions His reasons? Who am I to question his motives or wonder where He was in my time of need? How dare I? Truth be told, He is here! He was there when I had my heart broken for the first time. He took the hurt away. He was there when I lost my first love and best friend in a car accident...when my life changed forever. He held me close. He was there when I met Shay for the first time. He had a hand in it and we didn't even see it. He was there when we got married. He stood between us. He was there when our children were born. He held them first. He was there when my grandfathers and grandmother died. He carried them home. He is always here! How could I not see that before now? Why has it taken me this long to believe it? At some point in my life, I think I lost that. I think I lost the understanding of God. Of knowing He is in everything we do. Even when the worst is happening, He is there. This story is proof of that.

I know I've always had faith that Our Lord was watching over me. I've always prayed and I knew He was listening, but I'm human. I have doubts and I question the unknown. But no more. I will forever know He is holding my hand. He is walking with me and he is listening to my thoughts and my prayers. He knows them before I even speak them. He also knows the answer before I ever ask. It might not be the answer I was looking for, but it's the one I needed.

So God, I'm sorry. How foolish of me to ever think I could do things on my own. I now know You were and have always been in control. I pray that You will forgive me for my wrong doings and my lack of faith. I ask that You continue to have faith in me and know my faith will only grow stronger for You. Please, don't stop believing in me and please keep holding me close. I need You. I cannot walk this walk of life without You. I praise You and love You. Please guide me and help me to find my way through this life You have blessed me with. I am asking you, Lord, please help me to change. To be a better daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend and person. I need Your hand, Your love, Your support to show me the way back to You so I can live for You and honor You. In His name~Amen.

♥Marissa♥

The paradox of life

2008-04-16T09:15:00.000-07:00

The truth about life...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, toproduce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods, and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

♥Marissa♥

What I've learned...

2008-04-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

Well Aimee posted this blog the other day and ended it with asking what we have learned from life. I decided I needed to respond, so I got to thinking about things I've learned...

I've learned that patience isn't something you have. It's something you learn and must work on continuously.

I've learned that bad things happen to good people and sometimes we end up thankful for those bad things.

I've learned prayers work! I always knew they did somewhere inside, but I've seen miracles happen this year and I now no longer doubt the power of prayer!!

I've learned that life will never make sense. But I've also learned to accept that.

I've learned that getting older doesn't mean something is ending, rather that it's the beginning of something better.

I've learned that good friends are the key to good bitch sessions! =)

I've learned that family is most important, NO MATTER WHAT! My family is everything to me. We may not always agree or get along, but they are the ones that will be there when you need them, without fail.

I've learned that I'm stronger than I thought I was. I know I can handle more than I want and will survive no matter how hard it might seem.

I've learned that a marriage isn't always easy. If it was how could we appreciate what we have?

I've learned that children will test you in every way possible. That's where learning patiences comes in.

I've learned that God knows all and does what He wants, even if we don't want Him to. Then again, who am I to question Him?

I've learned that my husband is my best friend and he loves me no matter what. Some might think thats odd that I didn't know this from day one, but I didn't. Partly because I didn't love myself completely, so how could I believe someone else would? But now, I know he does and I love him all the more for it.

I've learned that we all make mistakes, but it's what we do to fix them that counts. Be accountable for your mess-ups or mishaps. Shifting blame won't change anything!

I've learned compromie is very important in life. Whether with family or friends, husbands or children.... you must give a little to get a little.

I've learned strength doesn't always come from within. Sometimes others give you the strength you need to get thru. God gives me my strength in ways I never imagined.

I've learned to enjoy life. Instead of worrying about tomorrow or next week or next year, I'm enjoying everyday. Every second I have with my family is one more day I get to be with them, watch them grow and watch them change. God knows how long I will live, I don't, and I trust that He has his reasons, so until that day comes, I want to cherish every little thing about all the days I still have.

Most importantly, I've learned that I love all that I have and am very fortuante to have all that I do. I try my hardest to not complain about what I don't have, but want, and remember that I have more than most and should be thankful for that. I am happy, healthy and have a beautiful family. I'm blessed beyond belief.

I have learned much more, but off the top of my head, these things matter most to me I guess. I might keep adding as I realize or learn more over time. So you might want to check back and re-read this post from time to time.

♥Marissa♥

Following my heart.... Living the dream!

2008-04-04T07:42:00.000-07:00

So for the past few weeks I have been working on something special for a very good friend of mine as a baby shower gift. Something I hope she will cherish and hold dear to her heart for the rest of her life. I must admit, I'm pretty proud of it. =) I will post pics and blog about it after I give it to her, but until then I can't give away the surprise... he! he!

As I have been working on this, I came across some old things I had written. I came across some songs that I remember listening to over and over as I was writing my book.... or starting it anyway. Now, here I am, listening to those songs, over and over again. It's amazing how much my life has changed since I first heard these songs, yet they still fit and describe my life perfectly. Truthfully, they probably describe your life too.

These songs, they got me through times when I was so down on myself. Not really sure why I was now that I think about it, I just remember being in this place....stuck and I felt like I just kept sinking lower in this hole I couldn't claw my way out of. I love being able to look back and see that I made it. I'm out and I'm on top of this mountain now. I love every single second of my life. I have it all. All that *I* need. All that *I* want. I have the life MY dreams are made of. And I have so much more to do!!

Anyway.... point of this blog is I came across part of the book I have been trying to write for YEARS now. Seriously, going on 5 years now that I've been writing it. I read over this short part of the book and for the first time, liked it. I am one of those people that writes something and rereads it a few days later and changes her mind.... but now, I like this. It's open, honest, and says what I wanted it too. I never shared any of this with anyone before, but here I am. A "new" person and I'm asking for feedback. So read this, tell me what you think.... but you must be honest. Those of you who knew me in jr high and high school, know who I'm talking about in this writing... and those of you who knew him, will know how I was then.... Have I changed? Did I change then? Am I better now? Please.... I'm asking for brutal honesty. Tell me, is this good enough to keep and something to start with? I'm determined to finish this book. This has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember and it's time for me to follow my dream.... I want this more than I've wanted anything.

Ok.... here it is....

Introduction

I once read this quote about life that made me laugh just because it was funny. Then I read it again and that time, I laughed because I knew it was true. On the hit TV show Friends, Monica Gellar said “Welcome to the real world! It sucks –you’re gonna love it!” Of course, when she said it, it was probably meant as a joke and it is funny in the way it is said, but when I read it, it meant so much more. That quote was the story of my life.
For as long as I can remember, I knew I lived in a world that was nothing short of what most people dream about. I grew up with the typical, semi-above average lifestyle. My parents were married, I had an older brother, a big house and anything I could have asked for or wanted I pretty much got. I was more than blessed I should say. More than most people anyway. I went to a school with all different races, all income levels and all kinds of labels. I had the same issues anyone else had; boys, friends and just plain old drama. I was always in the middle of it all, but then again, what girl wasn’t in the middle of it?
As I grew up, things just kept changing. My brother went to college, my parents divorced and here I was thirteen, and now feeling more awkward and alone than ever. This life I thought I had that was so wonderful had just been ripped out from under me and I was left with all these questions and no answers. My dad moved out and it was me and my mom in this huge house that was empty and full of memories I couldn’t even recall; all because of that one moment. But slowly and surely, my life started looking up again. My mom and dad both seemed happier, which in turn made my life easier, even though before I never noticed it feeling hard until it was finally easy. I eventually got over the shock and disappointment, the pain subsided and the blame disappeared. Finally, I was happy again and back where I thought I should be in my life.
At that point…here comes high school. The moment most kids can’t wait for, then when it arrives, they can’t wait for it to end. At fourteen, my life was perfect. I had it all, even though I didn’t have it all together. I was living the life I had been waiting for. I was on and off with a boyfriend I adored and loved (for what I knew of love then), I had more friends than I could have imagined and I was finally getting the opportunity to experience real life and what it felt like to be ME. There wasn’t much more that I could have asked for. Then he died on December 13, 1997. My boyfriend, the person I thought I loved the most in this world, was gone. He was killed in a car accident and that was the night my life ended, or the life I was living up until that point. I had lost one of my grandfathers years before that, but I was too young to really know what all was going on. So this was the first time I felt my heart stop beating and knew what real heart break and loss felt like. From then on, I was NEVER the same. I had no idea how to cope or who to turn to. So many of my other friends were suffering like me, but they seemed to be able to move on and I just couldn’t let go. I turned into someone I started to hate. I was mean, hurtful, selfish, and even worse; I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror and smile because I had NO IDEA who I was looking at. I became my own worst enemy.

So.....there it is. Maybe it sucks. Maybe it's not what I should be saying. Who knows.... I just want your opinion. So give it to me...

P.S. The songs I love so much are by Jo Dee Messina.....ah I love these songs! =)

♥Marissa♥

baseball, birthday and burning calories!

2008-04-03T13:42:00.000-07:00

Well other than the tagging blog, I haven't updated in a couple weeks, so here I am! Hank is officially the cutest baseball player I've ever seen! (Yes Aimee, cuter than Biggio!) He started T-ball last week and OMG I've never seen anything so funny and so adorable. He is the littlest player (imagine that?!?) on his team, but he doesn't know it. His uniform swallows him, but he is so proud of himself when he has it on. You can see how excited and proud Shay is at hanks games. He wants so badly to teach hank to be as good or even better of a player than he was (shay played in high school). It's amazing the kiddos don't tip over with the helmets on. LoL! I'm looking forward to every saturday from now til the end of May, to see Hank play in his games. It's truly something I will forever remember! I can't believe he's old enough to be playing sports!!!

Hmmm... Well I'm officially 25 and it feels a lot better than I thought! =) I feel like a whole new person. I have so many things I want to do this year. So many changes to make and so much to look forward to. I have big goals set for myself and nothing is going to stop me. As much as I was scared of growing up and getting older, I realize now, it's not the end of something, it's the beginning of something more. Something better. Something truly amazing.... and I can't wait! I have so much more than most people my age and I'm so thankful for that. I have a life I love, a family I couldn't live without and people who love me.... what more could I need? So here's to being 25.... young, healthy and ultimately happy!

I have also lost 8 pounds (so far) in less than 2 weeks. Sure, most people would say it's not "healthy" to lose more than 2 pounds a week, but I haven't TRIED to lose so much so quick.... this new lifestyle change I made just made it happen and I feel GREAT! I also chopped my hair off.... so I just feel like a whole new person right now. I'm loving every bit of everything thing I have and all that I am. Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. It is all greatly appreciated.

♥Marissa♥

I got tagged!

2008-04-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

Ok well Steph tagged me, so I guess this is a must do now! =)

Here are the rules: Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So on to my 7 things...

1. I always have to have a blanket on me when I'm on the couch or in bed, even if I'm already hot. I know... weird!

2. I hate socks. I mean reallllllly hate socks. I hate the way they feel when I have them on without shoes. As soon as my shoes come off, they do too. Also, I wear them inside out. Again, I know.... weird!

3. I have the tv on 99% of the time, even if I'm not watching it, it's on. Most of the time, when I'm too busy to watch it, I have it paused (such as now) instead of just turning if off.

4. I love scrapbooking. I've made many for friends and family, but never for myself. Why is this? Hmmm....

5. I have 3 poems published. Bet you didn't know that.

6. My brother named me. He told my parents they could name me what they wanted, but he would call me Marissa no matter what. He was only 6 at the time.

7. I haven't worn shorts since I was in high school (freshman or sophomore). I mean like as an outfit, I have over a swim suit or something like that, but not for long period of time. You will NEVER see me in shorts. I wear jeans.... that's it.

I do not have that many blogger friends, so I'm tagging the ones I do have (that haven't been tagged already).

1. My best friend -Aimee

2. Amanda

3. Ashley

4. Jamie

♥Marissa♥

I Can Make You Thin!

2008-03-25T13:41:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I can't, but Paul McKenna can!

Let me first start out by saying, WOW, I love this way of life. It's amazing! Other than being sick right now, I've never felt better. I feel more positive and I enjoy waking up each day to see the changes in my life (and body)! I really believe this is going to.... actually, no, I KNOW THIS IS going to work for me. I have no more excuses and I don't want any. I like this.... and it works!

So.... backing up, have any of you heard of the new TV show on TLC called "I Can Make You Thin?" If not, it's this guy, Paul McKenna who has 4 golden rules to losing weight and living healthier. Most of you are going to read the rules and think "well duh, those rules are common sense! How could you not know that?" But truth is, he (McKenna) makes it sound so simple and makes it easy to understand and put it into practice. So here they are....

The 4 Golden Rules
1.When you are hungry, EAT!
2.Eat what you want, not what you think you should
3.Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful
4.When you think you are full, STOP eating!

So yeah, I've been doing this since saturday and amazingly, it WORKS! I mean it. It really works. I first told myself I wasn't going to blog until I had been doing this for 2 weeks and really lost some weight.... but no need to wait... I've lost 4 pounds! Can you believe it? The best part, I've eaten everything I always do, just WAY LESS!!! No more counting calories, eating things b/c they are better for me and hating them, and no more feeling guilty about every bite I take. Instead, I'm enjoying every second I'm eating. I can't wait to be hungry again to eat and see how little I have to eat to feel full. I just love this!

Anyway, the point of my blog is to share my new found love! It has really changed me. Changed my mind frame and my way of thinking. Changed (drastically) my relationship with food. It changed my outlook on life and how I see myself. That's what I'm most thankful for. I feel good about myself for the first time in a long time. And I'm not having to starve myself, eat things I don't enjoy, feel guilty about eating things I'm not "supposed" to or beat myself up for not working out and following my plan I set for myself. I'm now living my life and enjoying every second. So for all of you who are wanting more info about this, email me or go HERE and sign up for free. "I Can Make You Thin" is on sundays on TLC at 9 pm. Check it out and check out the videos on the website as well. This too can change your life!

I will post again as I continue to lose weight! Believe me, I wouldn't be blogging about this if I didn't feel it was REAL and that it WORKS!

♥Marissa♥

Happy Easter!

2008-03-24T10:53:00.001-07:00

Hey guys! Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter. We had a pretty good day here at home. Unfortunately both the boys were sick =( so we didn't do much, but it was actually nice to take it easy for a change. Hank loved hunting for the easter eggs we dyed and he loved his easter basket the bunny brought him. So overall, it was a great weekend.

So on another note, in a few days I'm gonna be 25. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Looking back I realize how fast the last 25 years have gone by and I'm really not ready for the next 25 to fly by even quicker. There is so much I want to do and I'm not ready for my boys to grow up just yet. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but it's actually kind of scary to think I'm (almost) half way to 50!! So until my birthday is actually here, I'm not going to talk to think about it anymore. =)

I have a prayer request once again. My friend Stephanie (you can read her blog here The Vandagriff Family) was admitted to the hospital over the weekend for a staff infection in her eye. Luckily they caought it before it entered her bloodstream, but Dr's are still trying to figure out how to get the swelling to go down. She is better today, but will stay in the hospital another 24 hours to continue the stronger antibiotics. The area around the source of infection is still very red and swollen, so they are watching that and trying to decide their next step (possibly drain it). She is doing as good as can be expected, but misses her babies (JD and MacKenzie) and wants to go home. Please ask God to help heal her and give her dr's the answers they need to treat her qucikly. Thank you for all your prayers for Stephanie and everyone else, including our family. They are very appreciated.

Just a quick update -- BABY COY IS HOME!!! Yay!! He went home 2 weeks before his actual due date, which is truly amazing!!! He is adjusting well to being home and his mommy and daddy are adjusting to the joys (and hard times ha) of parenthood!! The lack of sleep shocks everyone is seems! lol =) Keep up with his journey and all that is changing in his and their life here.

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the nice weather (at least we are having beautiful days here in San Antonio)!! Love to all of you...

It's been 9 months...

2008-03-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. Jace is 9 months old!!! Seriously, where did the time go? I really can't believe how much things have changed and how incredibly fast the last few months have flown by. It's been an amazing roller coaster ride, to say the least.

Jace went for his 9 month check up today and he is 19lbs 3 oz and 28 inches long! WOW! Surprisingly he is only in the 25th percentile. That's hard to believe when you look at (and hold) him! It's so funny because looking back, Hank was only 16lbs at 10 months and 26 1/4 inches. Ha.... He (hank) wasn't 19 lbs until 15 months! lol. Poor guy. He might end up being the little brother instead....ha! Either way, Jace is doing great. He's healthy and happy and that's all we could wish for. Hank loves his baby brother more than anything and Jace is just so excited to be around Hank. We are truly blessed!

Jace is crawling like a little spider all over the place and still pulling up on everything. He is clapping and loves to do rasberries back at his brother. ha. It's so cute. They are just two of a kind and I love them more and more everyday! Not much more to update, but I wanted to let you all know how big our little guy is getting. He is still our happy, smile face baby all the time. Two teeth with another two coming (maybe more). And he has my hair....finally I have something to show for my hard work....haha! =)

(Hollyn pushing Jace in the baby doll stroller haha)

IS THAT FOR MEEEEE??

2008-03-03T07:58:00.000-08:00

So for years now, I've been trying to convince Shay to get Hank (now Jace too) a swingset. He always wanted to, but we just couldn't find one we liked and up until now, we were always renting a house, so the thought of moving it year after year seemed like way to much trouble..... but finally... IT'S HERE!!!

As you can tell, I'm pretty darn excited. ha. I actually believe I was/am more excited than Hank. I finally have a "babysitter" in some ways. I'm no longer the one thing that can entertain him 24/7. Even better, when the neighbors come to play, I can say "outside!" and they have something to do!!! YAY for me! ha. We are just thrilled about it and Hank couldn't be more excited. His eyes lit up when he saw it coming down the street on the trailer (we purchased it fully assembled, so Shay and our neighbor took parts off to move it). As soon as they pulled up, of course Hank asked his oh-so famous question.... "IT THAT FOR MEEEEEEE?" with his eyes wide open in shock. It was great, and of course, I didn't have the camera on me. ha.

Anyway, point is, we finally have the one thing we have looked for for YEARS. I'm serious.... we have looked since Hank was 2.... and we finally found one we agree on and it's actually here. Nothing beat saturday night. ha. All the neighborhood kids were here to join in on the fun and the moms were praising me cuz I'm now the house every kid wants to be at. I haven't quite figured out if thats a good thing or not?!? ha... Either way, I'd wait another 2 years to see the look on Hanks face saturday night and again sunday morning. Of course, when he woke up, he looked outside to make sure it was still there.... that's priceless!

You got "Sanked"

2008-02-20T12:26:00.000-08:00

So since Hank was able to talk, he has always said some words and letter sounds wrong, as do most kids in the beginning, but it's always been too cute to want to correct him. Well, now as he's getting older, I figured it was time to try to get him to say them them right way, even tho everyone else keeps telling me he'll out grow it and just leave it alone b/c it's cuter the way he says it.... "sank you" being one of them. ha. He is pretty good about his manners... please, yes mam, no sir all that good stuff, but he is best with saying "thank you" or "sank you" I should say. That was his first polite thing he learned and it's always cracked me up because he says it with the best of intentions and it just comes out so adorable. Shay and I always say "you got sanked" when he thanks us for whatever it is. This morning was a little different. For the first time, after many many tries of correcting him, he said "TTTTTT-hank you!! (with his tounge between his teeth and dragging out the ttttthhh sound)" It was hilarious and we were so proud!!! He was so excited that we were so happy he said it over and over. He told me the whole way to school that when Ms. Alyssa or Mr. George (his teachers) told him hi he would say "ttttthank you." Or when they said they liked his new transformer (holding out his arms like a super hero and a scrunched brow saying "transformer" in his best "deep, robot voice") he would tell them "ttttthank you." So we have officially gone from "sank you" to "ttttthank you." A big step in our little guys world... and it's defienently an improvment, even tho now I'm gonna miss getting "sanked" by my "all grown up" baby everyday.

Don't stop praying!!!

2008-02-16T08:34:00.000-08:00

Hey guys. I'm here to ask again for prayers. My best friend Aimee's mom suffered a mild stroke and while doing an MRI and catscan they found a huge anyurism on her brain. Funny how God works sometimes. Had she not had the stroke, they might have never found the anyurism. So does that mean she/they should be thankful for her stroke? Who ever wants to be thankful for something terrible happening in their life? But at the same time, that stroke could be what saves her life. The brain surgeon wants to wait 6 weeks before doing surgery to remove the anyurism to give her brain time to heal. The anyurism is on the same side of the brain that she has had 2 strokes on now, so he feels there is only a 3% chance of it rupturing, so waiting is her best option at this point. Please ask God to help heal her brain quickly and pray that when she has surgery all goes well and she recovers quickly from that as well. Ask Him to give Aimee', her sister Sherie' and her brother Scott the courage and strength they need to help their mom face this and for them to face it as well. They are also trying to cope and deal with their dad going thru treatment for bladder cancer, so right now they have a lot on their plate. God hold them in your hands and give them some kind of comfort and peace in this tragic time. Please help strengthen their parents so they are both able to beat these odds against them. Please aslo ask that God gives them the wisdom they need to make the right decision to move their mom to the medical center in Houston for surgery and recovery. Pray for the dr's that are treating her mom and dad to do everything in their power to heal them both and for steady hands and clear minds when treating them. Thank you all for your continued prayers for them and their families. Every prayer helps!!!

the hulett house

To a new year and a new me

Only one day left!!!

Things I DON'T Understand

Forgiveness

Not MY Child

Header??

A man. A son. A husband. A father.

If you call "this" a laundry room...

*UNDER CONSTRUCTION*

Never been one for cliche's, but...

Here we go...

Brown, chocolate and casper white

Lil' Bits of Life

Cuz I'm good at procrastination

**DEALS AND STEALS COMING SOON!!**

Never stop praying

Invasion of privacy

**DEALS AND STEALS**

Wordless Wednesday

As H would say "Oh yeah baby"

Keep 'em comin'

I need your prayers

It's the Climb

God must really love me.

Pay It Forward

White Boy Gots Moves!

Open Mouth, Insert Foot...MORON!

Hankster

"my mind is laughin' at me"

When things don't always make sense...

Why I can never get things done...

Misson Complete

Monday's Mission:OUR BEDROOM

And I'm BACK!

And so I return.... and leave

Until tomorrow...

Lil' Bits of Life

My apologies!!

Prayers for a child with "two mothers"

Halloween Recap

I've decided...

A memorable day in history needs a little prayer

(UN)Censored

Halloween Candy RECALL!!!

Only boys say "Holy Crap!"

Seriously?!?!?

Wedding Bells

MY NEPHEW IS HERE!!!

Walkin' Talkin' Monster of ours!

Note to self: never plan a bridal shower during Hurricane season!

Thanks Ike!

Orange Belt

Bling Bling... Look at my new RING! =) (updated)

Me and You -- Five years today

P.S.

Four Boyfriends: Something worth reading.

Please Vote!!

I am no exception

Mohawk Man

The loss of a father.... prayers needed.

My mind has left me

Hi Yah!

This about sums it up

What's in a name?

Long overdue

We need POOP!

Does Harwin sell PhD's?

Happy FIRST Birthday JACE!

50 of Lifes Lessons... WORTH LEARNING!

Q & A

Prayer List Continues...

Anxiety and all

A few prayers please!

Male Bonding

Free Blog Makeover.... MUST GO!

Special Little Guy

He loves me just the way that I am

Fathers (Day) Week!

Summer is here and I need a fan!

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

DEALS AND STEALS COMING SOON!!

DEALS AND STEALS