Gotta take the good with the bad...

Ok so let me back up before I really start telling you about my day.... Last week.... probably one of the worst weeks I've had in I don't know how long.... and truth be told, I have no idea why. It was just "one of those days" that decided to become "one of those weeks." I tried to wake up everyday with a better attitude, but it didn't work. I was exhausted and overwhelmed beyond belief. I felt like every time I even looked at Hank he had a fit, threw a tantrum or told me no.... and Jace, my oh-so-happy baby, wasn't even close! He's teething, so of course I shouldn't expect any different, but WOW.... non stop fussing and no sleeping! AHHH PLEASE SHOOT ME NOW! =) So the weekend, I'm thinking, yes, it's going to be better.... HA- HARDLY! Come sunday, I was worn out and at the end of my rope.... I just knew this week had to get better.

So, yesterday, I woke up and looked in the mirror and told myself "it's gonna be a good day, no matter what" and it WAS! Thank God for that!!! Because another day like last week, I might have had to pull a Britney Spears! I'm serious, I really thought I was gonna lose it! So anyway, back to yesterday. Other than one little meltdown from Hank because he didn't get a valentine heart like I got for his teachers (he just doesn't know about his yet!), it was a great day. I got so much accomplished and my happy boy was happy again!!! YES!!! It's gonna be a GOOD week afterall.... so I thought!

Then today happened. =) So it's tuesday (obviously) and that means Hank is home, no school (he only goes m-w-f), so I should expect a little more hectic day because it's just always a little harder with two than one (imagine that!?!), but I didn't know a short trip to the store could be so difficult! It started out that Jace decided to not take his morning nap, so I figured we'd go to the store now before afternoon nap and grab some lunch while we're out. Sounded like a good idea at the time.... Hank wanted to wear a short sleeve shirt instead of long sleeve so I said FINE, just put on a jacket just to avoid an argument, but he didn't want the one I gave him, he wanted his green one.... Yeah, not happening. I had been up and down the stairs more times than I could count already and wasn't doing it again. So I won that battle! =) So of course he wasn't happy, but thats life right? So we get in the car, me thinking Jace will fall asleep and I'll drive thru and grab some lunch and run to target. All is going according to plan until Hank says he wants McDonalds. Ok two problems... a) McDonalds is the opposite direction of where we are going and b) the thought of McDonalds makes me want to throw up. So I'm thinking, he loves chick fil a and they have chicken nuggets, fries and "chocate" (as he calls it) milk, so it's all the same.... yeah, no so much! After a fit about not getting a "real toy" (cuz you know how chick fil a has to be all educational with their toys and all) and wanting McDonalds, he cries, I yell (against my better judgement) and he proceeds to tell me "mommy, you're being bad" and so I cry. My FOUR year old just told me I'm bad. Wow.... how sweet! So I decide, we're out, we're going to the store because I'm not coming back. We park, I give him his food to eat and I go to grab my ice tea and what do you know, the top comes off and tea is EVERYWHERE!!! And I literally mean EVERYWHERE... on me! I look like I just peed in my pants! So I mistakingly say "dammit" (again, against my better judgement) and Hank then says, what do you think? Of course... "mommy whatd you say? Dammit? whats that" So here I am, (for lack of better word) pissed off that I'm covered in tea, upset that my 4 year old repeated something I shouldn't have said in the first place (then again, it could have been worse ha!) and now my baby is screaming. So forget it... we're going home!! So we head home, I clean up the tea all over my car, and here I am, trying to find some sanity before I lose all of it! I swear, if I don't get a break soon, I think I will join Britney!! Maybe then I'll get some sleep! he! =)

Truth is tho, even after my bad week and bad day again, I realize I'm human. I'm going to have my bad "mommy moments." I shouldn't expect myself to be perfect all the time, because if I did, everything would seems so much worse. I know I overreact sometimes and I know I say things I don't mean, but at the same time, I feel I have the right to feel overwhelmed and throw my "tantrums" too. As much as I'd like to think I am, I'm NOT perfect, and that's ok, I just need to learn to accept that. Now I just need to learn to not let my guilt from acting like my 4 year old take over, instead learn how to handle the situation better next time. At the end of the day, when Jace looks at me and smiles or laughs and Hank tells me he loves me "to the moon and back" that's when I know despite my mistakes and bad "mommy moments", I am loved.... and nothing beats that. So I'll take the good with the bad, knowing the good always wins!

p.s. One problem...the day isn't over yet and I still have to go BACK to the store! ha